Beneath The Masks

What now?

2009-04-07T20:33:00.004+08:00

One day you find yourself seated in front of your computer.

And you realised that you're turning 24.

3 years since you've celebrated adulthood.

And you wonder.. what have you accomplished?

For you have nothing.

Day after day, you delude yourself that there is a greater cause in your life. And yet, soon you lose faith in your belief. Soon, of cos, soon. Soon you realise that the numbness wears off, and you're left with an unbearable ache. The tingling feeling soon evolves into something more, slowly, yet surely, engulfing you. And you recall that line in Robin Hood, its called "carving the heart out with a spoon". Why the spoon? Because it's blunt. It hurts. It's slow. It's painful.

That's why.

Because you're no better where you started from.

Then you ask yourself. What now?

One way or another, you have to find yourself back to the field. Because the next game is coming. And you're not allowed to miss it. Can you miss it? Can you?

Are you a quitter? It takes courage to quit.

What now?

You need some faith.

Clock's ticking.

Do you even know what you want?

Not very smart scammers

2008-11-02T22:58:00.003+08:00

I was looking for a puppy, as usual, and received an email one fine day:

Rall Ralone
Fri, Oct 31, 2008 at 5:48 PM

i have two looking for a good home if still need them please e mail me back

(okay.. this is a ".com" and not a ".com.sg")

Me
Sat, Nov 1, 2008 at 12:37 AM

Hi,

do tell me more..

Rall Ralone
Sat, Nov 1, 2008 at 12:45 AM

Thanks very much for the reply, From the way i will really love to Re-introduce this pets to you I have named them, they are two both male and female and all range of 4 months 2weaks.they are vet checked with all their papers and of very good health They are very social with other pets and animals and with kids especiallyso u are very welcome on adopting my my pets. so i will love to know how serious u are on the puppies and how fast u need them but first u have to answer some few questions of mine.were are you located do u have any experience in taking care do u want to use this puppies for breeding or just for pet? Do u promise to love and care for this pets? Just answer those questions then we shall move to the next stepand if in case it happens that u adopt then i will love u to take some pics of you, your kids and the pets then forward to me so i can know how they are doingthanks

Rall Ralone

(apparently very disturbed by his lack of paragraph skills. This is too good to be true. Wait.. there's no lah lor lehs)

Me
Sat, Nov 1, 2008 at 1:47 AM

Hi,

actually I stay in a HDB, so I can only take 1 pet. (bla bla bla)
If you do not mind me asking, it is apparent that you care a lot about your pets. Why is it that you are giving them up for adoption?

Rall Ralone
Sat, Nov 1, 2008 at 3:41 AM

Thanks for the reply, I am located choa chu kang in aand i can see from the way your home is equipped it will be very comfortable for these pets to live with u I am glad u have experience in pets and how you have promissed to treat this pet and that is the main reason why i have accepted to give this pets to u. I am located in choa chu kang and it is a far way from you but i know a safe means of transportation here in choa chu kang that transports pets all over the world in a very comfortable and safe way if u can agree to my terms to pay for the transportation to the Pet Transport Agency then it will be fine for me if u are still interested in the pets then what we are going to do is that i will place the pets on board to this pet transport agency then they gonna deliver the pets to you at your door step after you have paid for the transportation if u are fine with that then u are going to give me the following information about

ufull names..............

home address..................

state (city)........................(city????)

phone number.................

zip code................... (zip code???)

this information will help in locating you so that the puppies can be dropped at ur door step ,i know that if it is for the both to be transported it wount cost more than$500 but if it is one it will cost like$250(kill people put fire ar... cab only SGD 50)you know i really love this puppies and i just give my trust to you and please do not fail me on using this puppies for breeding or as a guard but only as a pet.and remember to send me upgrade pics of her thanks

(zip code in SG? smart ass)

Me
Sat, Nov 1, 2008 at 10:31 AM
(trying to ascertain his stupidity)

Well, I am willing to pay an adoption fee to you instead. Perhaps we can save on the transportation if we do a meet up. I would also appreciate it if you can send me a photo, and give me more details about the pet.

Rall Ralone
Sun, Nov 2, 2008 at 6:52 PM

hi there man sorry for the late reply my grand mum went in to a corma so in spend the hold day in the hospital.please send me the information needed so that i can go and register then the pets are coming with all their papers needed and theay are vent cherk up so send the information to starte with the transfer.

4 attachments
(photos)

Okay, this smart ass didnt cover his tracks properly. I googled him and found the following:

15 Aug 08

two cute and adorable english bulldog puppies for dg, usa

my name is mr.rall i have two cute and healthy English bulldog puppies for free adoption i am giving them out not that i want to do so but be cause i have a contract from south Africa with the minister of finance i will like that any person adopting this pets should have experience in pet not that it will be that, that is his first pet and more to that i don\ Contact: rall at rallralone@yahoo.com

So I did the obvious and posted this in the same web site:

SCAMMER: RALL RALONE

Have noticed that a Mr. Rall Ralone has posted ads in various sites ALL OVER THE WORLD. Usually claims that he has 2 puppies (noticed different breeds in different sites) and requests that you transfer TRANSPORTATION FEES. Please note. He has posted in this site as well on 15 Aug for english bulldog puppies! His email: rallralone@yahoo.com

Any idea how to tackle these people?

Victoria Secrets

2008-09-28T18:55:00.001+08:00

Hey girls,

my colleagues and I are ordering from VS web. Do give me a call and drop me an email regarding your order if you are interested. Sharing postage costs.

Air Con

2008-09-12T11:46:00.001+08:00

Finally forked out a hefty 4.9k to get my entire house air-conditioned. Hehe.

So happy!

My Job

2008-08-12T21:02:00.003+08:00

My job has confidentiality written all over it.

That's why i cant blog about it.

Nothing interesting about my life... really... it wont be long til i grow old and look back at my entries and wondering "what the hell was i thinking back then?"

Incredible, isnt it?

They told me i could be president one day. Or a cop, or a teacher.

Yet, i'm doing a job no one likes. I wonder why.

I guess we ought to learn that reality is always never near you idea of a dream job.

I wonder why i like my job.

PS: let's welcome KaiJing to join the blog!

The day the radio talked to me....

2008-06-23T22:29:00.002+08:00

I was to make a decision between the jobs offered by
ST Electronics and NCS. I set Monday 23 June 2008 4:30pm as the "deadline"..

Date: Monday 23 June 2008
Place: East Coast Park, (the tiny racing track near Subway)
Environment: Power 98 FM blasting through the racing track's speakers..

Time: 3pm
-----------

Rong:... aiyo.. how?!!!! *sigh sigh sigh*
EC: U have one and a half hr....
Rong: haiz...

*both return to fixing up the tamiya cars on the table..*

Time: 4pm
---------

Rong: *stares at the handphone clock..* oh no...
EC: Have u decided? U only have half an hour..
Rong: ... argh......... i dun know.....

*deep discussions about the pros and cons of both companies...*

Time: 4:10pm
------------

Rong: *bangs head on the table..*
EC: *sits by rong's side...*

Time: 4:20pm
-------------
Rong:....HOWW?!?!?!??!

*Power 98 plays Bon Jovi's "It's my life".....
EC and rong look at each other...*

EC: How appropriate..
Rong:.. YA!!! "It's now or never!"...argh~!!!

Time: 4:26pm
-------------
Rong: *moan... * haiyo.. how....

*Justin Timberlake and Madonna's "4 minutes to save the world" starts playing...*

Rong: *looks at the time.. it's 4 mins left to 4:30pm..* OH NO~!! It's really 4mins left!!! ARGH!!!
EC: *laugh laugh laugh* wow.. the radio's playing songs according to your situation!

Time: 4:31pm
------------
Rong: Oh no...~ song finish!! it's over 4:30 liao.. how how how?!! *grabs her hair..*

* Jesse McCartney's "Leaving" plays in the background right after that..
"...... don't stress don't stress don't stress...."*

Rong: HOW APPROPRIATE! that "Don't stress don't stress don't stress" song!?!!
EC: AHAHAH!!! Not bad ah! 3 songs in a row! The radio's talking to you!

The safest thing

2008-05-16T08:59:00.002+08:00

We’ve all come to the conclusion that the main reason why office buildings have sealed windows is due to the fear of us plunging willingly to our deaths.

Or perhaps, pushing our clients down a 32 storey building sounds like such a welcoming idea it was safer to ensure that this was made impossible.

Oh! Such an inviting idea!

Face it. When one of those evil Cinderella-stepsister-like clients refuses to help you and showers you with insults? Get me a pistol.

I can almost smell the whole plan.

Brutal? Perhaps.
But we’re all down to our most primitive states here, defending our territory.

Whatever happened to client-service relationships?

Not surprisingly, some of us are secretly wishing that we catch some major fraud from the client we detest. Of cos, most times fraudulent people dont wave their embezzling evidence in our face.

That aside, I've finally replaced the chatterbox! Yippee!

Love

2008-04-18T00:25:00.001+08:00

The exact words were “why are you so content with what you have when you could have taken a step back and noticed all the other opportunities that you’re missing out?”

Shakespeare would have quoted a dozen lines from Romeo & Juliet, if not for the fact that it would have portrayed the naivety of two fools in love.

Or rather, I would have.

Such contempt for the word; used every other year and thrown at every unsuspecting victim…

And then its value depreciates.

If it were sealed with a kiss, then perhaps the weight of the seal means nothing.

And then we cure it by marriage; often leading to undesirable side effects.

Then what’s left?

Why don’t you take a step back and see what you’ve missed?

I love my job

2008-02-14T00:24:00.001+08:00

Happy Valentines’ Day!

It’s that unmistakable look on their faces.
No, we won’t be going home early.
How about KFC couple’s meal?

Yes I love my job. I love it. I love it if you let me do my testing the way I believe it can provide assurance. I love it if you respect my job and don’t tell me to change my samples. I love it when you do not hide my working papers if there are errors noted.

And yes, I am proud of my job.

It’s a job where I laugh when I don’t mean it. And I smile when I give review points, and I spam imbeciles’ emails quoting FRS and IAAs.

I caught a glimpse of the streak of white hair. It suddenly struck me that there’s so much in life, and I was not about to get myself wasted. Not when the CPF promises to support me for life.

How I hate feeling so wasted.

How I hate missing out all these little surprises in life as time races past.

Yes I love my job.
Can I say the same for my life?

2007-12-31T16:31:00.000+08:00

My friends

2007-11-25T20:33:00.000+08:00

Ran into Jocelin and Eugene, then Kailin, then Jocelin and Eugene (were you stalking me?) for the past few weeks.

I cant help but think that even though we didnt plan to meet, singapore, being small, has its advantages.. after all, we only go to the same few places. (With the exception of Lena, who is currently haunting Marine Parade.)

Sometimes it's nice to see familiar faces. Especially Guirong who has introduced me to the ways to torture people to death. (welcome to the dark side)

I havent been updating mainly because I havent found the motivation to switch on my lappy. After all I'm almost always doing work with the company's, it seems foolish to switch on 2 computers. Not to mention the fact that it is not in line with my plans to save the world (and my electricity bills).. well, actually it was more of the bills.

I do, however, find it somewhat.. comforting to see that people have been constantly checking my blogs for updates. Even though I probably dont deserve it.

Soon, I've comed to the realisation that I can no longer tease Lena once that extra candle appears on my cake.

You see.. I'm no longer 21.

(Lena, stop shopping at Forever 21. )

I'm starting to age!

I guess it's the karma. A little girl called me Auntie.
I stared at her in such a way that it scared the shit out of her (at least I think it did)

My friends, I think we're entering another phase.

Aftermath

2007-09-30T17:01:00.000+08:00

I know this feeling.

It's the aftermath of accumulated bitter endings and resentment.
After that.
It's the feeling of accumulated depression.
Continued disappointment.
It's that feeling that no matter how you try to make things right, it never falls back firmly into place.

And i dont have time to make it right.

Because eventually it's not going ot be alright.

And that leads to a cycle of resentment all over again.

Contagious

2007-08-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

I figured that the only way to survive was to feel happy. Act happy, feel happy.

Perhpas i can infect the seniors to be happy.

Then perhaps i will really feel happy.

I didnt count on their depression to get to me first.

And then i realised that i've never missed amelia and chao chia's warm smiles this much before.

I guess the people around you really matters.

Shenton Way

2007-08-12T10:40:00.001+08:00

Shenton Way only appeals to you when you're 16, gazing in awe at the office ladies in power suits and heel.

In time you grow to realise that there's nothing more to it, except low morale as each day passes, going through the monotonous routines of being brainwashed with the importance of ethics.

Soon you realise that you have no time for your family, friends, and partner.

Soon you'll see the premature wrinkles, coupled with the frown that seems too deeply etched on your face that you cant get rid of it.

Shenton Way exists as a fantasy.

I'm living in it! How very exciting!

1 day to work

2007-08-05T16:28:00.000+08:00

"Once we watched a lazy world go by,
Now the days seem to fly"

1 day to work.

The scorching afternoon sun is still an uninvited guest despite days of rain. It still gives me a headache no matter how much i try to avoid it.

Secretly, i've decided to set up a "install an air con fund", but i suspect no one's going to contribute to it.

So much for being a tree hugger. Ha!

I've come to a horrible realisation that the next 40 years of my life is about audit papers and financial statements, not to mention the blazers and clean shaves (for the legs la) involved in earning that 2.4k that the papers never seem to stop mentioning about.

It seems almost imprinted that my MSN nick comes with a tag screaming @work for 16 hours everyday.

Add an inscription screaming 2 hours indulging in alcohol, seeing how the insane PWC peeps chiong twice a week. I have no idea how they sustain such expenditure.

Oh well, what can i say? At least people will be staring at your briefcase and actually envying you.

Yea, despite how you feel about yourself.

How do i feel?

2007-07-31T17:55:00.000+08:00

Havent been blogging in awhile.

Did anyone miss my whining?

How do i feel?
I dont feel these days.

I cant think. I cant feel.

Least to say i'm not devastated.
Not happy and contented i guess.
What more can i ask for?

Each minute is no longer precious to me.
I just let it slide past.
I just sit warm and snug in bed against the harsh weather and let it slide.

And then i have that look on my face which everyone detests.

I have that look that says "i'm thinking of something other than you".
It's rude, i know.

Does it matter to you?

Convocation's over, Jac's in europe, the Ball's only worth 60 photographs.

I guess that's that.

What have i missed?

There is nothing wrong with this world.

Everyone's been great.

I'm just not easily satisfied, am i?

Well, at least i cant feel.

Convocation!!!

2007-07-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

Did i mention that i graduated? Haha..
Well, turns out that most of my photos are with the professional photographer.. So i guess i'll have to present to you my professional (auditor) part time photographer -- Chao Chia!

Yep! It's our convocation ball..

Isnt Fullerton lovely?

The black knight tiong meng and my prince charming rick! haha.. kind of a contrast eh?

And the lovely ladies, amelia, chaochia and alicia..

Too bad gentlemen.. they're taken..

That's us with Jamie at the Highlander. turns out most pubs were closed or way too crowded.. Hee..

Did i mention that i graduated?
=P

Old School Affair

2007-07-25T10:27:00.000+08:00

The convo ball's on saturday!

http://www.oldschoolaffair.blogspot.com/

I so want to win that camera!! Haha.

You bet i'm looking forward to holding it when i win it..

*slap*
ok, back to reality.

Who am i kidding? Sure i love audrey hepburn, but i can never look like her!!

So.. camera...

Today

2007-07-15T23:51:00.000+08:00

This very morning, i wanted to blog about the 45 million bucks spend to build a shrine that worhipped a animal's tooth.

I wanted to tell the world how disappointed i was that 45 million was not spent on making the world a better place, but to clad a shrine in gold.
(and to worship an animal's "relic" tooth.)

Not to mention that fact that i've personally been to that place and found it too magnificant, too luxurious (air-conditioned) and too corporate for my liking. i think it should be a tourist attraction. Thank you very much, but i can worship at Kwan Im Temple instead.

Apparantly, i disagree on the way the reverend spends the people's money. But hey! most people agree with him. my dad does.. so oh well. it's ok, we can ignore the fact that the aging population are suffering from disease and getting inadequate healthcare, or the fact that more storybooks for orphans couldnt hurt anyone. All this will cost a fraction of 45 million, but no! it has to be spent on a structure!

Which is quite an irony because i strongly believe this religion teaches people to do good for the mass, i dont recall teachings asking for beautiful shrines built in strategic locations.

Which is the reason why i'm giving my money to other more worthy causes.

This afternoon i went for my JC class gathering.

Everyone's getting married.
People keep stereotyping that people who marry early are less educated, or marrying cos of "accidents".
I'm proud of my friends for (1) marrying because they know that the other party's really the one, and (2) marrying instead of opting for abortion.

Whether it's the right thing to do is not for me to judge.

But at least they know what they really want, and i cant see past my 4 carat round cut diamond handcuff.

That's slightly depressing.

What more depressing is when i know that my dream wedding is never going to happen.
I think i've lost my gown's designs.

How smart are you?

2007-07-12T12:20:00.001+08:00

Chanced upon this:

Anyone brave enough to try? Leave me a comment and i'll let you know if you're right?

See how many you can get out of 30!

Have fun! No, it's not too difficult cos i've got them all! Hee.. (Click on diagram to enlarge)

07/07/07

2007-07-05T11:25:00.000+08:00

17 years for a mortarboard.

Am i supposed to feel happy?

Oh well..

I LOVE TODAY'S DATE!

And the fact that 777 couples are getting married today in Singapore.

I think it's easy to remember.

(The guy has no excuse to forget the anniversary)
Ha!

Movies

2007-07-03T23:39:00.001+08:00

"welcome to singapore"

I guess most of you laughed in the cinema.

we're all expecting it in "pirates of the caribbean".

weren't we?

i guess this form of familarity is so close we feel it.

- the same feeling when i saw the KPMG and Deloitte & Touche buildings in transformers.

Movies. it's scary how we can relate to them.

Cycle

2007-07-01T23:06:00.000+08:00

Many great writers have questioned the meaning of life. Quests for knowledge; answers to what happens after death.

I've read too many books on such debates.

Perhaps when your life seems so insignificant, its value diminishes.
And when we stop questioning the meaning of it, there is no meaning.

When there is no meaning, there is no cause for debate.

It's a cycle, really.

What are we all studying for?

Happy Birthday Jocelin!

2007-06-30T11:49:00.000+08:00

I stopped writing letters on people's birthdays when i saw Hazel cry.

I didnt like that feeling - i didnt know what went wrong.

Perhaps it was our punishment for not cherishing this friendship. Maybe we didnt care enough.
Maybe she lost faith. Maybe we lost faith.
I'm not so sure anymore.

The 1/4 days were the best years of my life. We had Wenhao back then. We had Mac breakfasts. We had "Zachery smiled at me" contest. We had stone benches and gazebos and five stones that landed in Yonghao's milo.

We had the silliest grins.

We hated Verma, we passed notes in history lessons, and we were scared of Eddie Tan who were screaming at the Year 2s everytime we go for science class.

But everything didnt matter cos we stuck together.
Jocelin skipped CCAs with me.
Lena smacked me with her hair.
Guirong was just there to keep everything "under control". (I'm so glad you got rid of that hairband)

Were we ever afraid of anything?

It's amazing what incredible friends i have.
Sometimes they grow onto you without you even realising it.

Even if we dont share the same interests or beliefs, we share part of lives together. I swear I've spent the night with them (under one roof la) at least once.

If that counts for something.

Maybe we dont meet up as often as we used to.

In some hidden place in my heart, i think - i know that these people will never fail to be there for me when i need them.

And that's enough to brighten up my day.

And then...

2007-06-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

Some people are lucky because their parents give them everything that they can lay their hands on.
But of cos i meant things that can be bought.
These people buy clothes without looking at tags, they spurlge on europe trips, they grab the latest gadgets.
I used to think half of those people are snobs.
Now i think i know the other half of the non-snobs.

It's a shame, really, shopping with these people. Pretending you dont like half of what you grab when you're dying to have it.

Sometimes i wonder if they really knew the true value of money.

Or if they've seen a paycheck more pathetic than my dad's.

And then i start thinking about those damn unpaid school fees.
And computer loan.
And i wonder if they have that problem.

Because all they need to worry about is which LV bag to buy, when i'm wondering which brand of cup noodles i ought to choose for tomorrow's lunch.

How lucky are we?

2007-06-26T10:09:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday, i spotted an image of an extremely attactive boy in the papers.

As most of you probably know by now, my grading system is most stringent.

It was the headlines that turned my heart cold.
And you might have guessed by now, i'm talking about young Thaddeus.

It's sad, really, when smokers and alcoholics are still alive out there and the triathlete is not.
Once again, we are alll reminded of how fragile life is.

People like Thaddeus are considered to be one of the fittest in the world, given their passion for sports, they probably trained like hell while we're causing a deeper dent in our couches in front of the TV.

I am so lucky to be alive.

There are some people that i really admire, simply cos they give in their best shot, and in some cases, die for the things they have a passion for. Steve Irwin's one of them, and i guess Thaddeus Cheong too.

No, i dont have a passion for audit. I'm not going to die auditing.

****

2007-06-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

"FUCK OFF AND DIE" were the exact words that were running in my head. I really cant be bothered with most things. So let me just go back to sleep.

Zzzz..

No, i dont like stuff where alot of compromising has to be done. But again, i dont care just as long as you give back a little when you take alot from me.

No, i'm not a kind person. Maybe i have a conscience. Maybe i lost it.

But yes, "fuck off and die" are the exact words i'll use for most of the super parasites in this world.

Mean? At least i let you know.

This world is full of hypocrites. I am merely a critic.

I dont believe i've truly known happinness.

What is it? When you live in a world full of skeptics like yourself?
No, i dont know it.

Happinness was having a candy when you were young.
Now you sneer at the mere mention of sugar content in it.

No, i dont know happinness.

I'm not happy.
Never have been, never will be.

How can i be, when people around me are vile at heart? When they claim to care but plot silently against you?

I give up. Really. This is a time where shutting yourself in is so much safer.

---
Chao Chia's pictures really got me thinking if this is really what i want.
Miss the grad trip because of such stupid reasons.

I feel so tired when people ask me where i went and i have to come up with stupid reasons or shrugg it off.

I guess the frustration builds up.

And when people dont care about me enough to change their plans for me, there's no point in defending them.

Cos even i dont believe in those reasons any more.

I told you so

2007-06-22T08:19:00.000+08:00

Everyone keeps telling me to go to Malaysia.

Especially JB.

My first reaction was "Are you out of your mind?"

Then i get surprised when they dont see my cause for fear.

Dont you guys read the papers?

I really dont give much of a damn if i get robbed. Take the money, leave me my passport and i can go home.

Like hello, a schoolgirl got raped by 4 men. 4! those bastards ought to be shot. Perhaps she was too much of a catch.

Yea, they rape pregnant women too! Two guys attacked her even though her son was with her.

Talk about being safe when you have company. How about the girl who was raped by a "police officer" when she was with her brother? How does having a guy or a police officier make you any safer?

Okay, maybe i'm paranoid. But it's really time you guys read the damn papers.

And yes, dont give me a chance to say "i told you so"

Most people tell me i'm going to hell for the meant things i say. i tell them "fuck off and die"; the world's biggest bastards are still alive. There's no place for me in hell.

You cant blame me for unpleasant things i say, i'm probably the only one in the world that dares tell you that your shoes dont go with your bottom and your bottom dont go with your top and you look like a giant turkey. See? That's what friends are for. Others laugh at you behind your back but i give it to you in your face!

And then you hate me for that.

Lately i've discovered that i dont really care. perhaps it's time to keep my ideas to myself, hide in a corner and laugh when someone plunges in a pit. When i say turn left, it probably means turning right is not a great idea. Oh, but do people care? No, they exclaim "that bloody obnoxious bitch dont allow us to go right! She's hogging it for herself!!" Yawn...

I told you so.

There are many things i can do without. One of them is saying those words in your faces.

Words from wise men

2007-06-13T10:22:00.000+08:00

My brother once said that the camera should never be placed in the hands of immature users. I couldnt agree more. Photography was an art. Now it's ruined. I dont understand why people spend hundreds of dollars on a great camera when they dont know how to focus before shooting.

Ah.. words from wise men.

I'm starving.

Basically because there's nothing to eat at home. More so because I'm too tired to get my ass downstairs to buy.. that also partly explains why most OL has fat thighs.

I'm not helping i guess.. adding on to the statistics to "the most common problems faced by OLs" which could well be on some crappy mediacorp show. It fits their style.

It's pathetic.. really, when they claim that celebrities and us are fair in the eyes of law. Oh hell ya! Look at Hilton's jailroom! It's better furnished than my hostel! I think she should be locked up with the rest of the criminals. The only people who should not be locked up with the rest of the guys are probably the cops.. Just imagine being in the same cell as someone you caught two months ago.. But hell! The living conditions ought to be the same! Why else do you speak the words of equality? Special treatment is not equality!

Bleah!

The things money can do.

Sometimes i think these spoilt brats should be taught a lesson. Let them see what half the world has to go through.

Oh! But what weight does my words carry? I'm neither rich nor famous!

Hit list

2007-06-12T11:04:00.000+08:00

Did i mention anything about world peace previously?

Okay.

I swear that if i have a grenade (coupled with a license to kill), i will throw one downstairs and kill the bastard that's blasting his music off a motorbike at 2am.

Perhaps.. being a sniper is better as i wont kill other innocent passerby.

There are some people that's on my hitlist. Not cos i hate them.. ok! I hate them! But more cos i think this world will be a better place without these people. They generally belong into this group.

Crazy drivers / motorists that blast their music late at night
People who support genocide
Stupid cassanovas and men who's ego is way bigger than their equipment

That's about all i guess.

Ah.. Wouldnt this world be a better place without them?

The World

2007-06-11T11:45:00.000+08:00

The world is becoming an unsafe place to live in. Why else do we need more forms of security on top of padlocks? People are making use of chemicals to con and dupe people, theives and rapists are breaking into houses, mass rapists on killing sprees and genocides, kids are on killing sprees in their schools, terrorists are engaging in biological warfares.

In the past it was plain assassination. Kill the guy who's responsible. Just rob and leave the guy to die or something. Not mass killing..

Somewhere across the globe, people are starving. They are suffering for our sins, as our advances are built at the expense of their basis of survival. The drought worsens, they suffer, but do we care? We sit miles away from them in front of the TV in an air conditioned room, making a comment in a sympathetic tone. Enough said.

Then i cannot help but wonder.. What is war for? All wars are started in the name of justice. Justice? No one has declared a war since the WWII. Now we all go to war. So who started it?

Somewhere Mother Nature must be crying. She gives lives. Man so naively think that we have the power to rob others of it. Such power are never bestowed. No. When all men are equal, such powers are never justified. What have we done to make this world better? We think planting trees can atone for more pollution. We think having a conference of political figures once in a while to lament about the dying earth is sufficient. And once the conference ends, we think of new ways to kill the dying planet. Then i cant help but question. If our existence does not make the world better, where's the meaning in it?

Changing Guidelines

2007-05-31T20:09:00.000+08:00

Found this while cleaning up my room. I wrote this a couple of years ago.. Whether it was meant to end like this, or just incomplete, I do not remember.

Diane carefully parked her new chilli red MINI cooper S into the lot with printed with the fading words “Financial Controller”. Taking a quick glance at the diamond-studded watch wrapped round her slender wrist, she smiled gleefully when she realized that she was half an hour early. Knowing that her lazy subordinates will be having breakfast in the office canteen at this hour, she strolled into the office to check to see if they would prove her wrong.

She whipped her employees’ pass out of her purse and gently tapped it on the unsightly metallic card reader. It beeped and flashed the time “09:37”. Unusually early of me, she thought, as she pushed open the heavy glass door. She smoothened her skirt as she stepped into the office, and scanned the perimeters.

Not a single soul in sight? She grinned, happy that there was something to scream at her subordinates for. And the computers weren’t even switched on. She made a mental note as she made her way towards her special cell with the golden letters “Financial Controller” imprinted on the door. Suddenly, Diane sensed that she was not alone. She spun round to see that she had missed someone, the part-time girl she employed three months ago to help out with the surge in invoices during the year-end sales.

The girl’s hair was tied up in a ponytail, her big eyes hidden under her thick glasses. She looked up and smiled at Diane, politely addressing her, “good morning Miss Chan”.

“Good morning.” Diane forced a smile. What’s her name again? Diane tried her luck.

“Eileen?”

“Elaine.” The young girl corrected. She looked up at Diane patiently, waiting for her response.

“Where are the rest?” Diane tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Elaine turned to face the stacks of invoices that occupied every inch of her desk. “In the ladies.” She whispered softly.

Not a very good liar. Diane looked at the almost empty office, then at the girl. Overworked and underpaid. An A-levels graduate waiting for her university application results slogging here for 5 bucks an hour. How pathetic. Diane thought. She probably has the highest qualifications after me. How ironic. I should fire all the other overpaid employees.

She rummaged through her laptop bag for her keys, and opened the door to her lonely little transparent compartment. The aquarium-like design enable her to watch the rest work, but it also meant that she would be closely watched like a guppy in a tank.

She closed the door after her, shutting herself from the outside world of treachery and politics.

Safe. Or so she thought, until the piercing rings of her telephone brought her back to reality.

Caller ID:

Mum

She drew a deep breath, and proceeded to take the call.

“Siew Bee?” Her mother’s shrill like voice sounded highly pitched over the phone.

“Yes mum? I’m busy. Call you back later.” She breathed out and slammed her flip phone shut without giving the other party a chance to protest.

She nested herself on the comfortable leather office chair and drew out her laptop.

26th March 2005.

The computer blinked:

Schedule for today:

Diane scrolled through the things she had to do today. Lunch with boss, meeting with salespeople... She murmured. “As usual. “ and her eyes rested on a particular line:

Mum’s 58th birthday

Diane groaned.

Somewhere in the building, unknown to Diane, someone was watching her every move.
-----

Diane tried to fake the most sincere smile she could.

Hypocrisy, she thought, is my forte.

Lunch with her boss was never pleasurable. In fact, she would be incredibly lucky if it didn’t feel painful. In the past, when she was younger, it was much easier. All it needed was a pitiful look, or Diane to pout a little, and Andrew will let her have her way. She suspected that it was probably the only reason why she could climb her way up to be the financial controller.

In fact, her ability to flirt had such a bad reputation even other managers will leer at her in a suggestive manner while female employees whisper behind her back. Tales of how the place of a financial controller in a prestigious car firm can fall into the hands of an attractive, insatiable young woman when she was only 24 soon accumulated so immensely, it could easily be bundled and made the best seller in MPH bookstores under the category of scandalous novels.

But now I’m 32. She sighed. And time had played her. Her biological clock was ticking furiously. Once, she gave up her marriage and her chance to start a family. She divorced her husband because she felt that she needed her monetary wealth and status more than she needed a family. An abortion was all it took to end the 2-year marriage. And for the past 8 years she tried to justify that she made the right decision back then.
However, Diane knew Andrew’s power was waning. He feared his domineering wife so much, she suspected that he was stripped of his finances, and that as a result, Diane was showered with lesser gifts and attention.

“Diane?” Andrew questioned, looking at her with mere concern.

For a split second she almost believed that the man actually cared about her, to see her as something more than a mere mistress.

But he immediately reverted to his self-centeredness and “Jason phenomena”.

“As I was saying, Jason wants a new car. Is there anyway we can charge the Honda S2000 to the company’s expenses?” He chuckled. “Try not to make it look suspicious, of course.” He rested his hand on hers.

Diane sighed. Jason, Jason, Jason. Is that the only thing Andrew cared about? Another new car? That must be the only reason why the COE prices are increasing.

She looked at Andrew. His hair was graying. He was a man of taste. Buying nothing but the finest. Using nothing but the finest – women included. But this man, being 15 years older than Diane, could no longer provide her with what she needed.

Before Andrew can make another comment about his wonderful son, Diane took the rest of the day off.
-----

Diane scouted the 3-room flat of her mother through the window. She rapped gently on the metal grille.

She’s not around? Diane wondered, thinking if she should go retrieve the keys to her mother’s house, which she left in her car.

“Siew Bee!” The familiar shrill sent reverberations down the corridor. Her mother was wearing the purple blouse with flowery prints - the blouse that she only wore during special occasions.

“What a pleasant surprise?” Mrs Chan exclaimed, obviously happy to see her only daughter. She waved the bright red bags she was carrying hysterically. “See? I bought joss sticks and incense! Must be fate! Luckily I remembered that I forgot to shut the windows. If not you would have missed me.”

Diane froze. Joss sticks? Incense? She realized that this only meant one thing.
-----

“You’re driving me to visit your father’s grave. How delightful!” the petite woman continued, “you haven’t visited him for years.”

Yes, Diane thought, and with a reason too. The day her father brought home another woman, Diane swore never to forgive him. A man who did not provide for her or her mother did not deserve her mother’s undying love. A man who broke her mother’s heart should never be allowed to redeem himself.

Diane glanced sideways to her mother. Mrs Chan reached for the air freshener and helped herself by spraying a generous amount as though she intended to murder a bull with it.

“Ma, stop it. You’re killing us” Diane scowled.

Mrs Chan lowered the bottle. She knew that her daughter never liked the smell of incense as much as she didn’t like the scent of Diane’s perfume. The air freshener, however, would perfectly cover these two scents. She see no sense in paying hundreds of dollars for a small bottle of liquid that was highly volatile, and had never approved of her daughter’s spendthrift ways.

“New car again, Siew Bee?” She questioned, half-knowing that her question will be met with displeasure.

Diane checked her blind spot and lane changed, skillfully guiding the car to the right lane. She nodded and said nothing to incur her mother’s wrath. After all, she reasoned, it’s her birthday.

Mrs Chan sighed. She knew her daughter was acting like a child. Her stubbornness had an uncanny resemblance to her father. She did not blame her Siew Bee. After all, they grew up in a poor environment. It’s no wonder her daughter had a thirst for wealth. But she could not comprehend why her daughter chose to give up the man she claimed to love and married.

Diane had a secret. Her mother did not know that one of the factors leading to her divorce the fact that she aborted her unborn baby with her ex-husband when she could have kept their child and saved the marriage. She also didn’t reveal the fact that she was waiting for Andrew to divorce his wife and marry her then. But now she realized that it will never be possible. Not with Jason around anyway. If her mother knew that she was together with an old and married man, Diane was almost certain she would lose her mother the way her father had lost her.

Mrs Chan felt the new leather of the seat. Brand new. She thought and closed her eyes. Siew Bee was the only thing that she was proud of. She heard accusations against her darling, and it broke her heart. My poor Siew Bee, she thought, what are you doing with your life? She remembered how betrayed her daughter felt when she chose to forgive her husband. Her daughter would never understand that she never stopped loving her husband. The day she took in her husband, Siew Bee moved out.

No, Mrs Chan decided. Her daughter will never be the other woman.

When they reached, Diane refused to step out of the car.
-----

Diane flung her bag on her sofa and sank onto the seat.

Home at last.

The marble floor gleamed. Every painting on the walls was worth thousands of dollars. The house was spotless; not a trace of its inhabitants can be found. The lavishly decorated apartment is a reflection of its owner. Not the elegance or the posh decors.

It was the emptiness that resembled Diane.

Diane trudged to her room. The lights flickered on. She headed directly to the showers.

On her bed, a tattered teddy bear formed the only eyesore, and yet, the only remnants of humanity.
-----

Diane stood at the dressing table, generously applying another layer of foundation onto the already flawless cake of make-up on her face, trying to cover whatever fine lines the naked eye could not see. Ever since Diane started working, she made it a point that no one will ever see her bare face. No matter where she was, traces of make-up would be found, to add color to her plain face. The mask of powder was her source of confidence, hiding her every emotion.

Her bloodshot eyes, however, gave her away. The thin vessels looked ready to explode - evidence of the lack of proper sleep.

A phone call from Jason woke her up an hour ago.

“Diane? I’ll drop by later. I’m sure Dad told you.” His boyish voice sounded chirpy in the morning.

Diane sighed. She don’t see how meeting the younger one will be more exciting than meeting his father. But she knew she had to. The young master wanted a new car, and that means work for her.
-----

Diane waltzed from the car park to her office, and she stumbled on a bright yellow car.

The Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IX? Is it even launched in Singapore yet? Diane thought as she studied the car.

“Wait a minute... In auto gear? What a waste!” she murmured. What’s the use of having such a powerful car if you cant use the turbo?

The car was parked at in the “Sales Manager” lot.

Diane laughed in sarcasm.

She picked up her pace and headed straight to her office. The same card reader beeped and flashed “10:40”. Diane entered and looked at all her subordinates. Coincidentally, they all looked hardworking, and their hair and make-up were perfect… too perfect.

She smiled. When there’s 22-year-old good-looking undergrad around, especially a rich one, her subordinates will be perfect little angels. She scouted for Jason.

She didn’t have to look far. The boyish voice with the American accent whispered a “hello” in her ear and appeared from behind her. She blinked as a tall, attractive young man walked up to her. He wore an oversized shirt with the wordings “Billabong” slashed across it; yet, Diane could see his V-shaped swimmer’s body frame. His cargo pants hung dangerously low along his waistline. But his charming smile almost blinded her.

He waved playfully to her and motioned her to her office.

“So… Is it possible to get my S2000? You like that car, don’t you?” Jason inquired as he sat down on the very uncomfortable red office chair.

“I don’t.” Diane replied. She studied Jason. He has his father’s eyes.

“You don’t?” Jason seemed shocked. “So what do you like?” He flashed the latest Hotstuff magazine in her face.

Diane didn’t even bulge. She thought of the bright yellow car she saw this morning.

“Evo 9.”

“In blue as usual?” Jason leaned forward and waited for her reaction.
“It’s yours. You decide.” Diane wondered if she could fool the auditors by capitalizing the expenditure. Yeah right. And put this as delivery van? She thought in mockery.

“In manual gear.” She added firmly.

Jason laughed, “Who wouldn’t but such a toy in manual? I know you like such cars. I’ll let you drive around once I lay my hands on it.”

His offer was sincere. Diane shifted uncomfortably. She could feel that this conversation was getting somewhere. Jason came with an intention. Diane took a sip of her coffee.

Jason cleared his throat.

“Will you accompany me to the Dinner and Dance?”

She almost choked.

What was Jason thinking?

Diane went thorough all of her possibilities, her mind working furiously.

“I’ve always liked you. I thought you knew that!” Jason exclaimed in anxiety, pressing his face forward, his sharp features wincing in despair.

Diane was stumped by this sudden confession. She always thought of Jason as the little boy - Andrew’s son. In love with her? She narrowed her eyes. Why? She noticed Jason’s pitiful, soulful look. Why not?

Andrew will be going with his wife anyway. She needed to spite him. And she just found a way to. On top of that, she knew Jason was the next Andrew – the next heir to the family’s fortune.

No, she believed that she had no conscience. Her faith had been marred long ago. It was wealth that motivated her.

For once, she looked happily at her prey.

“Dinner tonight?”

Neither Jason nor Diane knew that their conversation was picked up. A few meters away, someone was processing every detail that escaped their lips.
-----

This is greed. I already have everything I seek, don’t I? Why am I here attempting to play this young boy? Diane thought furiously as she flung open the door.

“You look beautiful”. The warm voice greeted her. Diane stopped in her tracks and stared rudely at the young man clothed in a gray suit, blue tie and black leather shoes that gleamed under the soft lights. He was holding out a bouquet of roses for her.

She was no longer looking at the young boy she knew. She was facing a man.

She remembered Jason’s compliment and smiled.

“No. Time is catching up in me. How can I be beautiful?” She received the bouquet from him and invited Jason in.

“Well, then you must be a beauty that transcends all ages. Like the Temple of Isis perhaps? Transcending all ages and yet never losing its majesty.” Jason replied without thinking.

“The Temple of Isis? You’ve been reading up too much on Egypt.” A smooth talker. Diane observed. Just like his father.
Diane liked Egypt. Ironically, she was the one that fed Jason’s young mind on the wonders of Egypt; the Gods, the fertility of the Nile, and it’s contrast to Rome. Literary works described it to be of enjoyment, of freedom, of wealth and pleasure. Egypt was passion. When Cleopatra ruled Egypt she fell in love with the great Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony. Diane knew that such reckless passions are hardly accepted in her conservative society. But the Shakespearean plays portrayed such love to be strong, true, and undying. And I’m living in a play not written by Shakespeare. This is reality.

Diane busied herself with the roses and her crystal vase. She knew this was wrong, but Jason was beginning to interest her. She sensed that this young man was naïve, but he had the courage to confess to her that he liked her. She was ten years older. They will be an unsightly couple to those who adhere strictly to status quo. Yet, he did what he knew he wanted, not what was right.

Her crystal vase reflected her blurred image. Her brows were tightly locked. She looked confused. She was confused.

If Jason didn’t do what was right. Should she correct it? What exactly defines “right”?

She realized that she didn’t know as well. She had been doing nothing right for as long as she could remember. Like roses, anything beautiful brings pains with it. Diane knew she had to warn Jason of the thorns. Using Jason to spite Andrew would be unethical.

She stole a glance at Jason. The untested, untainted Jason. Too perfect, too incredible.
-----

Diane snapped the leather-covered notebook shut. She stroked the leather of her notebook. There were so many thoughts that she wanted to scribble on the white pages of the diary, to hear the scratching of the pen working in quick bold strokes, yet she didn’t know how to start.

Jason was a perfect gentleman. He was well read, knowledgeable and wise despite his young age. Tonight was magical. Which is probably the reason why I think I might have felt something for him. Or maybe it was the jealousy. Diane didn’t know which. The man that dined with her was the object of affection to Andrew. He used to be the only thing that stood between them. Now she had to reshape Jason’s position in her heart – and she didn’t know how.

She pulled opened her drawer. Inside, similar leather notebooks were arranged neatly. Each and every one told a tale, and the leather smelt old. Nostalgia. She thought. That’s the word. She replaced the notebook she was holding and drew out an identical one.

29th November 1994 Tuesday 20:04 Sunny
He drove me through a long narrow road. The next thing I saw was the pretty orange lights from the runway. A plane was taking off. I watched from the other side of the fence, mesmerized by the majestic sight. Then he put his arms around me and whispered the words in my ears. “Will you marry me?” Those are the best words anyone has ever said to me…
Diane flipped though the pages.

2nd April 1995 Thursday 23:58 Starry
We are finally married! I know this one and only guy I love who walked into my life and stole my heart will never let me down.

Not this. Diane thought. Her heart was tearing.

She rested her hand on another notebook. As she lifted it, an old photograph fell out. Its edges were yellow from age. But it had preserved the youth of her parents. Diane saw little Siew Bee in the arms of her mother. Her father stood beside them, his arms wrapped around her mother’s. He was smiling like every other proud father. But separating her father from them was a long, ugly tear, taped carefully to join the two parts backed together. But she no longer felt pain or anger.

Only a tinge of remorse.

She trudged to her bed, picked up the teddy bear and made her way to a corner and crouched, hugging her teddy tightly as though it emitted some sort of warmth that she wanted to badly. And she stayed there until the sun’s rays greeted her the next morning.
-----
She made contact with her seat for less than thirty seconds when someone knocked on the door. Diane could barely say, “come in” when the phone rang. She noted the caller. Sales department? Let them wait. She yawned.

The part-time girl stepped in. her face was obscure from view, framed by her heavy tresses and thick glasses. She was clutching an invoice. What’s her name again?

“Miss Chan, I need to tell you that my contract is almost up. I...” She faltered. The phone rang again. Diane motioned for her to sit as she picked up the call.

An exasperated voice warned Diane “Elvira’s coming upstairs to your office! She’s pissed that Elaine insulted her staff by telling her that the documents are insufficient. Her staff called Elaine an incompetent fool and insists that Elvira should get Elaine fired. ”

Insulted? Diane wondered. How? But before she could question, the line was dead.

Diane’s features hardened. She knew Elvira was not someone she would want to trifle with. She was a relative to Andrew’s wife, and Diane loathed her. Elvira despised Diane of making use of her looks to gain her status as much as Diane looked down on her for making use of her ties. Coincidentally, they were the only females holding high posts in the company.

Diane was not about to lose to an inferior female.

She looked Elaine in the eye and raised her eyebrow. She didn’t even have to interrogate. The young girl guessed her intentions.

“She wasn’t following the system. I couldn’t reimburse the petty cash so she confronted me once, demanding that I allow her to do so... Moreover she wanted to register the car although the finance settlements were not approved. I went downstairs and asked her to rectify it and somehow it blew the matter up…” Elaine spoke with best coherence she could. She handed the invoice she was holding to Diane.

“You rejected Elvira’s petty cash reimbursement?” Diane heard herself laugh as she was reminded of the mistress of the dark that shared the same name. And the fact that she thought the both of them shared the same taste in their hair-styling preferences.

Elaine shook her head quickly. She mouthed “Alicia.”

Diane didn’t care who Alicia was. It didn’t matter anyway. Anyone running to her manager for the slightest thing was not worth her attention. In fact, the way Elaine handled things earned her respect. She had confidence Diane had never seen in her before, and Diane liked confident people. Now, all she had to do was to force Alicia to shut up, and leave Elvira speechless, Diane decided that betting on Elaine would be better than pacifying Elvira. After all, Elvira was getting too costly for the company. She should retire. Diane commented silently.

Diane saw Elvira charge into the main office. She made a quick decision.

“Never be too weak to defend your stand. I’ll be on your side.” Diane assured the girl who was quiet all this time. She nodded gratefully.

Soon. Elvira charged in, followed by her trusty sidekick. Diane’s subordinates were all too shocked to react. They stared, dumbfounded.

“Your girl insulted my staff!” Elvira heaved. She took in so much air; the buttons near her chest were exploding, exaggerating her outrageous bust line. The bright yellow blouse she was wearing made her look like an oversized banana. All the better to match her car with.

“Elvira, in case you haven’t realized, I am in the middle of an important meeting. If you don’t mind, please wait outside.” Diane forced a grim smile. She saw Elvira back out of her glass walls and stood outside of the door, still visible, never once taking her eyes off Elaine.

Diane pressed on and motioned for Elvira. She opened the door to step in, but Diane spoke so loud and clear she was sure every living soul within 5 meters could hear her. “Elvira, if you would please wait outside the Finance department. This place is strictly private and confidential.” She deliberately turned to Elaine and smiled, watching Elvira from the corner of her eye.

As expected, the woman threw open the door with such violence that the glass walls shook. The woman was now red in her face. Beads of perspiration ran down her forehead, cutting through her make up.

“How dare you!” Elvira began.

Diane looked at her disapprovingly. She meant to insult Elvira, to remind her that her land and territory were not to be desecrated.

“Your girl…” Elvira pointed an accusing finger at the part-time girl, her murderous eyes darting from Diane to Elaine.

“Elvira! How nice of you to drop by. I was meaning to speak with you about this special case. Your staff approved the registration of a car? Without a finance settlement?” Diane turned to the trusty sidekick who turned pale. She waved the precious invoice to Elvira and watched her face turn redder as she studied the contents.

“I believe this is not your first day at work? What if this guy can’t pay for the car? Is your miserable pay sufficient to pay for it?” Before Elvira could say another word, Diane continued, “ and you intend to reimburse the petty cash? I don’t recall seeing my signature on it, or Elvira’s? If your signature was valid, do you think the company needs to hire me or your boss?” Her voice grew louder with every second.

Alicia stood there, motionless, and hung her head low. Her dark blue uniform looked corporate and boring like her personality, a life without vibrant colors. She was unmotivated, working was a chore to her, and it seemed that the only thing that mattered to her was income. Alicia would never be early for work, only on time. She would never think about how to solve problems. Elvira was there, and Alicia was certain that the only way to play safe was to let her manager settle all the problems. It was a matter of responsibility. Alicia couldn’t handle it. A 30-year old admin staff cannot handle tasks like speaking up to financial controllers. No, she could boss part-time staffs around or rant at salespeople. But Alicia feared authority.

Diane wasn’t about to let this opportunity slip pass her.
“And you called my girl an incompetent fool? In front of the whole sales department?” Diane stood up and paced the room.

She turned to Elvira, who was speechless by now.

“So… How do you intend to settle this incident?” She pretended to seek Elvira’s advice. Diane was celebrating her victory silently.

Elvira threw a dirty look at Alicia and flashed an incredibly fake smile. “And how do you propose we settle this?”

“Elvira, Elvira…” Diane taunted. “You’re the sales manager. How can you be associated with mistakes like these?” she threw a glance at Alicia, and continued, “It’s not difficult to solve this problem. Firstly, this car will not be registered until the valid documents to prove that its financial settlement is approved are submitted. Secondly, I demand that you get someone of authority to sign the petty cash reimbursement form before I give you a single cent. Lastly, I expect an apology email to be sent to everyone in the company for the inconvenience you have caused and the remarks you made to Elaine.”

Elvira coughed, “Alicia will do as she you please. I’m sorry for the trouble caused.”
Diane knew she would have to pay for her sweet revenge in future. Elvira will somehow find a way to get back at her. But she also knew that if she missed such a wonderful opportunity to vent her anger, she wouldn’t be able to sleep comfortably tonight. Winning mattered a lot to her – she can worry about the consequences later.

Diane smiled and offered to walk Elvira to the door. Alicia sulked and followed behind. Elaine didn’t move from her seat.

After walking the duo to the door, Diane knew there was one more thing to do.

“Your contract’s up you say? How about renewing it? I’ll give you a pay rise.”

The girl nodded thankfully.

Diane made it a point to remember her name.
-----

Diane wasn’t worried. The Evo would not be launched until mid-year. Diane was sure she could let the auditors work on the accounts without much trouble. She knew that all it needed was one mistake and it would cause her downfall. She would either have to persuade Andrew to pay for the car, or charge the expense to him unknowingly.

Either way, it was nowhere near illegal.

Somehow, she had a feeling that this move was essential to her survival.
-----

She stopped in her tracks. A dark figure was lurking near her car. Then she heard a high-pitched sound that made every hair on her pore stand. The familiar sound of fingernails scratching the blackboard. Diane darted towards her car. The unexpected stranger, sensing her presence, fled down the long and winding corridor. Diane chased after her.

Diane had to abandon the chase. Her three-inched heels proved to be a disadvantage. She could only watch as the unknown figure disappeared into the darkness.

Diane sighed. She inspected her car. Unsurprisingly, a deep, long, unsightly scratch was visible. The red car gave a soft beep as the headlights flashed. She reached for the door, her freshly manicured nails gleaming under the light. Then she halted. Diane whipped out her phone and started dialing the guardhouse.

Soon, she’ll find out the answer.
-----

She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She was still clutching her keys. Her heart pounding at a rate she had never experienced before. She loosened a button and breathed deeply, attempting to clear her mind.

Did Diane see her? Is she still looking for her?

She paused and held her breath. The place was haunted with dead silence. No sounds of heels clicking against the gray tiles. No signs of anyone following her. She blended into the shadows.
-----

Diane made her way to the security room in the corner of the building, which no one would venture into. Hidden from the rest of the staff, only those who set it up knew of its existence. Diane had already informed the guards to look out for suspicious characters. She knew it would be hard; the building was also open to customers. The only place where she can get all her answers would be the security room.

She tapped her employee’s card on the reader and entered her unique pin. She pushed the door metal door open. The door swung back quickly and plunged her into total darkness. She ventured forward, felt for another depression on the wall in the darkness and slide the door open.

The security technician held his breath and stared at the monitors as Diane entered. Diane leaned towards the sea of monitors. When she suspected that information was being leaked out of the company, Diane set up the security room and had cameras cleverly hidden on every spot she could think of. The individuals were little worker ants being monitored. It worked instantly. She was able to eradicate the spies from the various departments and the problems ceased.

On the monitor transmitting from camera #17, the technician had skillfully frozen the frame.

“Can you lighten the contrast?” Diane asked as she squinted at the monitor. The technician did as he was told.

“Zoom in.” she instructed.

Diane had her answer.
-----

Alicia squeezed through the boxes of invoices and tiptoed her way to her little cubicle. The moment she touched the mouse, the desktop slurred from its slumber and she caught herself looking at her wallpaper. The eyes of the little boy from the photograph seemed to be winking at her; other than his brown eyes, he looked like the little actor from Harry Potter.

Alicia’s features softened as she looked at her only source of comfort.

She had been too impatient.

She clicked on an in conspicuous icon on her desktop. The image of an office filled the screen. She could hear and see everything Diane was up to by bribing the repairmen to install a camera hidden near the air-con and a transmitter in her penholder. There was no humming of the air-conditioner. Alicia grinned as the thought of Diane driving in her disfigured car crept in.

Revenge will be sweet. She had planned this for over a year.

She smiled as she counted down to her little surprise for Diane.
-----

Jason held the door open and offered his hand. The soft yellow lights of the Fullerton hotel greeted them as they are welcomed into the ballroom, where other members of the company are gathered. Diane’s ivory white gown caressed her smooth skin in contrast to the midnight-black hair locked in a French twist. The simple and plain style showed off her elegance. Her shoes glittered under the light as she took small steps to the table they were assigned to.

She deliberately brushed Andrew’s arm as they reached. His wife, Hui Xin was beside him, eyeing her every move like a hawk. She wore a black halter dress, and was frosted with diamond accessories. Andrew looked up, smiled, but immediately paled when he saw Jason beside her. Jason grinned proudly as he pulled a chair for Diane beside his father. As he sat down, Diane wrapped her arm round his, and leaned towards him.

It was too much for the other woman. Her fists were clenched; her knuckles were protruding in the most unnatural manner. Andrew, on sensing her hostility, tugged her dress. She shoved his arm aside and attempted to calm down. She stood up and in a commanding tone, addressed Diane.

“What do you want?” her tone firm, but escaped her lips as a soft whisper.

Diane wrapped her arms tighter round Jason and turned to him for help. His mother’s oppressing question was obviously directed at her.
Jason expected an adverse reaction. After all, his mother didn’t like Diane from the very moment she laid her eyes on her, much less to accept her as the woman that he has chosen. But he knew that his mother loved her pride – she will not do anything to either of them as long as the dinner was still proceeding. He asked Diane to the Dinner and Dance for two reasons. Firstly, if she accepted him as a date, it would mean that he was of importance to her. Secondly, he couldn’t think of another way to tell his parents that he love her. This would be more than a subtle hint.

For years he has tried to deny that he was felt something for his father’s new young accountant. She spoke music and wisdom, she taught him the arts and cultures; she showed him the wonders of science and the mysteries of nature. Whenever he visited his father in his office, Diane was there with her beautiful smile and would gently stroke his head and tell him what a fine young man he turned out to be. Of course, as years progressed, she could only lay her slender arm on his shoulder and acknowledge the man in front of her. Over the years he dated other girls, hoping to forget this enchantress.

But he could not.

He looked into the eyes of Diane. Unable to suppress himself further, he pressed his lips to hers and engaged in the kiss he’s been wanting to happen for years.
He felt the warmth of her lips and relished every single moment. When they parted, he whispered.

“This – is what I want.”

Everyone else stared rudely.
-----

The auditors didn’t arrive until after eleven, Diane greeted each and every one of them with enthusiasm, those she have seen before, as well as new faces straight out of school. It has been some time since she felt such light-hearted.

She walked them to the meeting room, a personal space for the auditors to work during this period. She was about to excuse herself from the room when Andrew appeared, followed by a few men in their thirties.

“Diane, this men would like a word with you.” Andrew said, and referred her to the men. He apologized to the auditors and excused himself.

As Diane walked through the carpeted corridors to her office, she attempted to strike a conversation with one of the men. He was, however, silent and kept a grim face.

Once in the privacy of her office, one of the men flashed their ID.

Commercial Affairs? She read quietly.

“What is this about?” she questioned. She looked at Andrew, who showed no sign of emotion.

The men briefly explained their intentions. They had received an unknown tip-off and received video and sound clippings about possible embezzlement of the company’s funds.

Alicia chuckled as she saw Andrew’s grim face. She cant wait for Diane to break down and beg for mercy, then she would appear and tell the rest that she had concrete evidence that Diane was plotting to misuse the funds. She would ruin Diane, the way Diane had ruined her husband and caused him to be thrown into prison. She would then be the heroine that saved the company from an inevitable disaster. Andrew would trust and promote her.

She played and re-played Diane’s conversation with Jason, as well as the tape recording of Diane and Andrew in their favorite restaurant. “Jason wants a new car. Is there anyway we can charge the Honda S2000 to the company’s expenses?” she laughed at this particular line. Soon, Diane will be out of sight, no longer contaminating the company with her presence.

Diane shrugged. “So what do you have against me?”

“Actually, we would require your assistance. Can we take a look at the records?” the man asked politely. “I have not properly introduced myself. I’m Inspector Lee.”

Alicia watched patiently as they poured through the books and photocopied things they needed. Some, they took with them, carefully labeled. The auditors were called in, and Alicia knew she was winning.

Diane stood beside Andrew, saying nothing. Her mind was fixed on the inspector’s words. “Video clippings?” she thought. From? The security room? Impossible. No one else knew about it except Andrew and herself. Would Andrew betray her? No. She decided. Andrew was in this as well. Besides, he didn’t know that Diane settled the accounts in a proper, legal way. He would not attempt to make his firm the joke of the media.

The phone on her office desk rang in with a shrill.

“Hello. Boss? I have something that may interest you. If you will, bring the authorities in as well.” The lab technician spoke quickly but clearly, obviously proud of himself.

Diane held onto the phone and wanted to call Andrew over, but the technician quickly warned. “Don’t say anything. Just come.”

As the group of people streamed out of the room, Alicia screamed. What’s wrong? What’s wrong! Arrest her!”
-----
A few monitors were fixed on a certain camera’s image. #04, it seems, took up a few monitors. Its images were in different frames, some enlarged, some brightened, some fixed. But a message was clear. A woman was in her little cubicle, staring at her computer screen, and her 17-inched screen unmistakably showed the image of Diane’s office.

She was obviously enjoying her game.
-----

Diane was glad Andrew offered to send her home. Everyone involved were brought in for questioning.

The police could find nothing to charge her.

Alicia, on the other hand was prosecuted for insider’s trading. And for scratching my car. Diane added. She remembered the last abuse hurled at her. “ You witch! You have taken everything from me. One day, you will lose these things and you will suffer a fate worse than mine.”

“Can you not hurt him?” Andrew asked, his eyes fixed on the road.

Diane thought of the proper words to say, and then she realized hypocrisy would not help here.

“I promise I won’t.”
-----

Words

2007-05-31T13:34:00.000+08:00

Do you know me?

Do you?

So you think you know me?

All of you?

Because those who claim to know me really dont.

Because at one point in time, most of you showered me with the following words "I dont know you very well", "I think i dont know you very well", "Even though I think i dont know you anymore" through letters, christmas cards, and even MSN.

So you still think you know me?

Because everyone's got me confused.

The life of a no-lifer

2007-05-28T12:19:00.000+08:00

Everytime i see that Cesar dog food commercial i think to myself: "i want that dog!"

Name it 小白..
haha.

Nothing much to blog about, since there's nothing interesting in my life.

I do realise that spending 12 hours a day in front of the computer watching One Piece is nowhere near healthy, but it's as much utility i can get these days. That doesnt help my morale very much either.

They say you can be poor, literally, when your pockets are empty, and you can also be poor when your soul's robbed of whatever that's left of it.

I'm still trying to figure out if i fulfill both aspects (i'm definitely in for the first classification)

The ties between people are getting as shallow as those between countries these days.
Each think of the possibility of gaining somethimg from the other party.

Most people dont really care about what you do as long as you dont pose as a threat.

Essentially, i suspect the only time when they'll lend a helping hand is when they have something to gain from it.

More or less.

The more you think about it, the less meaning life has.

We were born into this world, only to slave for material wants. There are so many people you can betray get what you want. Power, Riches, Fame. And in the end, what do you have?

The poorest of all souls.

10th

2007-05-20T20:01:00.000+08:00

There are some things you say,

then regret,

but know that there's no point in taking it back.

Perhaps close to inflicting a wound, except a wound heals. Then what about the scar?
One that stands out against your flawless skin?
Maybe it doesnt hurt anymore, but doesnt it remind you of something when you look at it?

Sometimes i dont really know if i mean what i say.
That only makes things worse doesnt it?

I finally got rid of the sticker on my window.
Now my view is not obscured.
The view's great. Really.. I can see so far..

Maybe. Just maybe, i can look at the stars tonight. I hope it's just as beautiful as when you were with me.

Eleven days of slacking

2007-05-11T09:48:00.000+08:00

It's been eleven days of slacking.

Boring, really.

Took a little trip to Malaysia just to pass time, and see what the other end of the causeway has got to offer me.
Not much really, although the in built ability to divide every figure on the price tag by 2.35 is great. You just seem to buy stuff without guilt. Not that i've got a lot to buy.. But well, you do it without guilt. And you seem to find stuff here to expensive.

I guess, maybe i wont mind going back when i have nothing to do.

I dont know about you. I dont like the tall structures in Singapore. Not unless i'm on the top of the hierarchy and sitting in the tallest of the building.

Break glass ceilings?

Perhaps.

I need to get my drive back. That ambitious side of me.

Every time i read jocelin's blog and i see that rainbow, i wonder if i'm really not easily touched.
Have i been expecting so much out of people it makes it impossible to breathe? Most times i know i'm uniwlling to settle for less.

Other times i dont know what i want.

The thing about being so selfishly proud is that even though you know you cant always get what you want, you either make sure it meets your standard or you'd rather not get it.

Why not?

The trick to it is that it only works when you know what you want.
So if you're lost, what good does being selfishly proud do?

Words from a lifeless slacker

2007-05-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

Ha! Finally done with distributing the pamphlets..
I'm a little bored. Really, with nothing to do and all.. I guess..

Eat Sleep MSN Anime..

Sometimes i wonder if there's more to this.. life..

Where's the meaning in it?
Lol.

YIPPEE!

2007-05-01T19:37:00.000+08:00

It's been 1 day since my exams ended.

I love this feeling.. It's so happy, and it doesnt come with guilt!

Oh well.. time to play.

Why you should seek good webhosting services.

2007-04-28T19:11:00.000+08:00

Encountered this problem on my website
If you cant read, click on the picture.

so i sought help from my webhosting engineer.

This part of the MSN conversation has not been tampered with:

Count Downs

2007-04-28T13:22:00.000+08:00

I cant wait for exams to be over!!!!!!!!!!!
Scroll down for new entries.. I cant bear to delete the countdowns.. It's so important to me!

2007-04-26T14:39:00.000+08:00

Joker

2007-04-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

Came aross this joke in a forum.

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkups.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling.

" I've never been better," the old man replied." I've got a
twenty-year-old bride who's pregnant & is about to deliver a child.
What is your opinion about that, Doc?" the old man asked.

The doctor thought for a moment, then says, " Well, let me tell you a
story.
I know a guy who is a hunter. He never misses a season for
hunting.But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally
grabs his umbrella instead of his gun ".

The doctor continued, " So he's walking in the woods near a creek, and
suddenly he spots a lion in some bush in front of him. He raises up
his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle.

BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him ."

"That's impossible !" said the old man in disbelief. Someone else must
have shot that lion.

" Exactly" Said the Doc

Funny eh?
Then i saw down and read this, posted by another guy:

The only flaw with that joke is that men's sperm is still viable, albeit increased risks of child genetic problems, even at very old ages unlike women's eggs...

(-.-!!)

big boy

2007-04-14T22:23:00.000+08:00

I thought that things didnt matter..
things that you did when you were young.
who you liked, who liked you..
crushes, love letters, all these kind of crap..

i thought they didnt matter anymore.
cos i grew up.
but guess what?
it came back and smacked me in the face...
so rudely i cant even steer away.

this is so disappointing.
when i read lena's blog about how she managed to talk to zeda i was so naive to believe that everything form the past will not haunt you.
move on right?

you only proved me right.
thank god i'm not your girl.
Hide away sweetie, i'm not going to go easy on you if i see you on the streets.

Note to self: people who make your life so miserable more than once should never be pardoned.

what did i ever do to you to deserve this?

oh wait.
i deserve this.

i suspected that you never loved me that much.
maybe other people didnt think so.

What do you want?

2007-04-08T13:11:00.000+08:00

I dont always get what i want in life.
But is that bad?

Sometimes people complain that they've got no choice when it comes to life.
"hey i didnt ask to be born into this world"
that sure sucks.

So when you've got choices and you made the wrong choice, is it bad?
How do you determine the wrong choice anyway?
Or which is right?

Who sets the standards?

Some people have to take over their family business and they do so unwillingly, others run away from it as a form of rebellion. Which is right?

Just how do you know?

The answer to...

2007-03-26T22:27:00.000+08:00

I guess i got tired of looking for a new hobby.
Maybe my new hobby was to look for a new hobby.
I dont know anymore.

What do i know these days anyway?
Capitaland's share price is S$7.75
What else?
I dont know anything anymore.

I guess i got tired of looking for answers.
They're beginning not to make sense to me anymore.
Words are but words. I read them in a different tone, and it has an entirely new meaning to it.
Joy? Sarcasm?
I have no idea.
I just know the underlying meaning that i try so hard to ignore.

You know how sometimes you try to ignore or forget something.
You try so hard, maybe you succeed.
One fine day it smacks you in the face and you don't like the way it feels.
That's reality, you know it.

You know how sometimes you tell yourself some things don't matter.
You know it does.
I wonder where self denial gets me.

I've realised how I've used "I" and "You" to talk about myself sometimes.
Occassionally i think its the hamlet insaneness creeping in.
Other times i think that the two sides to me are becoming more distinct.
And it scares me.

Sometimes i dont know if i am that person anymore.

Most days i know i'm not.

i love shopping!

2007-03-23T13:14:00.000+08:00

i love shopping!
especially online shopping cos the stuff all looks so good!
hehe..

I hate the guy that came up with the idea of grad trips.

Mainly cos i'm freaking broke.
So i cant go to US or Japan cos it's ex.
The guys are suggesting HK n Taiwan..
Which the prices are considerable cheaper cos some of them originate from these regions.. as weird as it sounds, which brings the costs to 30% than that of Japan with Alicia.

Which idiot came up with the idea of grad trips again?
His dad must be rich.

The final semester

2007-03-13T15:22:00.000+08:00

This final semester has been flooded with quizzes.
Absolutely detest it.

I'm actually mugging for them..

There's one thing you'll probably discover by now if you're an undergrad.

input not = to output in terms of effort.

Sigh.
But well, everyone's mugging, so you'll be at an disadvantage if you have no idea what to do with those damn bonds

Dr Cash
Discount on bonds payable
Cr Bonds Payable

Someone please clap.. I actually remember this!
C'mon, i'm a bloody accouting undergrad.. What do you expect? *yawn*

Oh well, back to mugging I guess..
Wish me luck!

MRT observation

2007-03-05T19:30:00.000+08:00

I absolutely hate it when people give up their seats to parent carrying kids, then the parent will land their asses on the chair and let their kids run around on the train.

Hey fat ass, i didnt give up that seat for you. i gave it up for YOUR KIDS.

some parents are terrible.

sometimes i love to see their kids stumble and fall. see? these people never learn. then when anything bad happens they blame smrt.
how can you blame others for your bad parenting?

hmm..

:"(

2007-03-02T15:54:00.000+08:00

Sick!

For one bloody week..
This mixture of fever, flu and cough is killing me.. Sigh~~

This is such a sad sad recess.

NS bragging rights

2007-02-20T13:41:00.000+08:00

I dont care what the guys think. The bragging rights to NS expires 1 year after ORD.

I hate it when people always say "aiya.. you've never been to NS, cannot endure hardship"..
BIG DEAL.. All the guys have been to NS.. It doesnt make you any special.

The fact is, so what if you've been to NS? It's not a point that can be used in an argument.
Engineers~~! Once again they've proven that my biasness is not uncalled for. You dont hear business guys talking about their NS stories when they know people are not interested to hear it. Some guys cant shut up despite me waving my fists at them.

NS~
Big deal.
The fact that you cant stop talking about it probably means that you're still as immature as before you went in. NS hasnt taught you anything, has it? Do something about that ego..
You ought to go sit in for a few more years..
The country calls you.

As for the rest of the guys..
Dont be like that fool. No one likes to hear about how "brave" you were. It's not as if you went to the vietnam war.

Secretly i think i couldnt care less about what goes on in other people's lives any more.
It's just about whether you cross that line, stumble into my world and piss me off.
I've never thought that people who bothered helping me out are people that I've never paid attention to in the 4 years of my secondary school life.

So i guess i really ought to see who else i've missed out in my life these days.
I guess it's this extra mile that people go for you that really means something to me. I guess maybe i'm expecting too much from people. Or do i?

I wonder if it's due to the professional skepticism thingy. Now i see 2 sides to people. One side they show, the other side my speculation. It's distressing.. really.. having to doubt the intentions of people around you these days, i start wondering if my fundamental principles has been violated.

It's not a nice feeling to doubt your friends. Not a nice feeling to bitch about them anyway, but sometimes the more you know, the more disappointing it becomes. Has the very nature of men been flawed all these while? Or has the condition of mankind deteriorated?

I know i've been harsh. Always have been, havent i? This skepticism just evolves into a shadow of doubt. Although i hate to admit that i've more or less been right in my speculations. Which probably makes the whole situation worse.. doesnt it?

I'm beginning to detest this world more than before. It's this feeling of disgust i cant really explain.

It's the feeling knowing that if you're drowning, no one will save you cos their nail polish isnt quite dry yet.

PS: Lappy's dead. Will be back when my baby's back. (btw.. joc, you're addited to the PS thingy huh? Ha.)

Lessons learnt

2007-02-15T00:50:00.000+08:00

I think people dont learn from their lessons anymore.
Remember the Superstar Concert tickets I told you about?
Turns out that none of the people I gave it to went.

So i brought up the topic intentionally to hint to them that they should be more appreciative of the things people do.. Even though people who don't know them, bringing the tickets to town for their convenience, and this is how we repay people - we make their jobs harder.

Apparently, I didnt get the message through because someone asked: "need to pay meh?"
I tell you. A fucking hour in audit can earn my company hundreds. It's not about the money. Have you people failed to see how that meant that people who wanted to go couldnt get in, and organisers could joepardise their relationships with their clients due to "lousy turnout"?

The fact is, most people that helped them didnt even get a simple "thanks". No.. all they ended up with was the embarrassment due to a probable "complication".

So that's why i'm disappointed. I cant see why none of you see it from my view.

Engineers ~~ Someone told me.
A stereotyping statement, dont you think? Considering that these are my friends?

So.. am i to say that engineers arent smart enough to see that life is not all about money?

Or should i narrow it down to a particular group? You engineers claim that people are biased against you. How about the actions you've taken for this prejudice to arise?

That's why i generally liked the business school. It doesnt mean that the people are fantastic.. you see, when though some of them sounded really fake, they never failed to thank you, to appreciate you for what you've done, and to share all the good things with you (past sem's quiz) even though it meant that you're a competitor to them. You see, they offer to do things for you!

Or is it due to some form of biasness again?

I've learnt a couple of lessons though.

I've learnt never to do things that people dont appreciate, especially those that dont benefit you at all. you get left with the dirty work but you dont gain a single thing or get a single thanks. I'm pretty much sick of it.
I've learnt never to plan birthdays again. People dont make it a point to mark it on their calendars, or fork out cash to buy presents. I think some of them will sleep through it if others did not remind them.
I've learnt that the more i see, the more I understand that I am but an insignificant lifeform on this planet. And so are you. So that doesnt make us any different. Save the fact that I'm an undergrad.. that actually has common sense.
I've learnt that it's okay to give up sometimes. I think Rong should too.. Everytime you crawl out of disappointment, somthing has to happen to push you back into the abyss again. I suggest you step onto the staircase i build for you and walk gracefully up than to grab the slippery vines that has failed you so often.
I've learnt that it's okay to be selfish. Why do so much when people do little? I say we only do it for people we like. If i dont like you.. I really shouldnt waste time picking out a birthday cake for you when i can throw 5 bucks on the table and pray that someone nice (like Rong) will volunteer to take care of it.

And then conscience has to creep in and tell me that.. just maybe I really ought to learn from Rong.

cross stitch

2007-02-02T17:13:00.000+08:00

Saw this guy on a train trying to do cross stitch...
I wanted to tell him that if he intended to start making that for Valentine's, he probably wont be able to make it in time.

That's sad.
But maybe he can. Who knows? He looks like he's pretty skilled.

Managed to grab a few tickets for the superstar finals on the 4th.

Tiong msned me asking "hey you interested in superstar?"
i was like.. "do i look interested?" *yawnzz*
Tiong "so hard to give them away leh"
Me "k lah.. i help you sell them lah.."

Managed to get rid of most of the tickets after making a few calls.
Tiong "you go lah!"
Me "seow! I dont even know who's in the finals!"

That's really sad. At least i knew that there was this half-blind-guy and a not-pretty-girl for the first superstar.

I really dont.
Both of us didnt even know when the finals was on.
I had to search the website for the date and time.

I guess i dont have much of a life left.
Maybe.

Capitaland's prices just kept increasing. Damned..
That's so not healthy for my AA206 cos it's officially hit the $7 mark.
This means that i cant buy as much shares as i planned!
(in case you dont understand, it's all part of my project)

I love fridays.
Laze around, do nothing, watch tv.

watch tv.

watch tv.

sleep.

eat.

watch tv.

eat.

sleep.

eat.
okay.. you get the point.

Turns out people actually liked the pair of earrings i made for lena.
the butterfly with green swarovski.
Green~~~ and i thought no one would be interested.
oh well.
that's good i guess..
considering that its sales performed better than most of the stuff i outsourced. i ought to be proud of myself.

Too lazy to update my blog these days.
Maybe its cos i cant resist bitching about people once i start blogging.

Or maybe partly the fact that i can hear Amelia's voice warning me about certain girls. Think i'm turning into one of those she warned me about.

So CNY is coming!
Hate it.
It's that time of the year when people will ask you about your boyfriends..
and get a rude stare from me.

What has that got anything to do with you?
It's that time my auntie will compare her precious daughter with me. The daughter will sit there and look dao, or occasionally, stand up and strutt.
I love it when she stands up.
Cos even with her 3 inch heels, she's way short compared to me wearing my old track shoes.
I love it when that happens. I love it even more when she looks way irritated when i talk to her bf. In fact, she reminds me of

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS5yQFqXaaY , except less the value and fascination, and more terror and grotesque. Oh? How about my auntie you say?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIELef5R6nY I guess. Cant complain much. They're all scary creatures.
I wonder why all these deep sea creatures are surfacing though..
Anything wrong with planet earth?

Yep. Ego!!

Yawn. As if i'm interested in some engineer.

Being an egoist is great. It makes life alot more simple.

Friends ll

2007-01-28T21:44:00.000+08:00

I didnt know Siuling met with an accident. Some friend i am huh?

A couple of days ago this uni friend of mine stopped to ask me if i was ok.
He spent the rest of the day reassuring himself that i was going to be alright.

Guess i was a little guilty cos i was hiding things from him and lying through my teeth.
But he said it was ok. "that's what friends are for", he said.

So i do have friends.
Friends i probably dont deserve anyway.

Maybe i should learn to trust a little more.
Just maybe.

hmm...

2007-01-19T22:28:00.000+08:00

One fine day i woke up and to my horror, i realised that i have no friends!

or do i?

there are some people that you dont have to meet up with, but you know they still do care for you and will be there for you when you need them. so i guess i tend to neglect them.

there are some people who only come to you when they need you.

some people i go to only when i need them. i.e. got car to go supper.

so i guess i cant complain much.

but when i mean no friends, i meant those that stab you in the back.
ouch!

shouldnt friends stab you in the front?

Announcement Board

2007-01-13T15:13:00.000+08:00

Dearest Tak-lors,

For greater efficiency, we have decided to operate the birthday present selection process like a business entity. Since Lena's birthday is coming up, we have decided to try out this new process and see if it works. =)
For the purpose of this exercise, we will kindly appreciate it if you can tell us which email address to send the relevant emails to (preferably the email account that you'll ALWAYS check ya?). Please make the effort to type out your email address and not just say "msn account", so that it's easier for the person who's consolidating all the data.
An invitation will also be sent to you via this email to add you as a member of http://taklors.blogspot.com/

What does this mean for the birthday girl?
This means you need to come up with a wish list, adhering to the budget that we will send to you after your fellow tak-lors have replied us. A form will be sent to you to tell us what items you want, the price, as well as the place to get it.

What does this mean for you?
For the people contributing to the funds, you will be required to email us at taklors@gmail.com (Yes! we have our own email address!) by a certain date (depending on the recipient's birth date) the amount you would like to contribute to the pool of funds. This amount will be kept confidential and only be revealed to the recipient. You will then have voting rights to the "wish list" by ranking the items in order of preference, hence making the buying decision process easier. You may also opt out of pooling into the funds for a certain recipient by replying to the email address as well.

The process timeline will be as follows:
1. Email sent to birthday girl to draft wishlist
2. Email sent to tak-lors to decide on contribution amount
3. “Wish list” sent to tak-lors and will be posted on http://taklors.blogspot.com/
4. Tak-lors rank and reply to email
5. We buy the present!
6. Excess amount given as “ang baos”

If you have any feedback, do email us at taklors@gmail.com. Thanks.

Boo!

2007-01-07T11:28:00.000+08:00

My last semester begins tomorrow.

I hate to admit that the readings are not getting any lesser.

Of cos, the fact is that i've never liked school and studying.

The other problem is that i cant find half of my readings because it needed some kind of membership. although i have faith that the professor is slightly smarter than giving us links to things we cant access, i'm beginning to suspect that maybe it didnt occur to him that we're not willing to pay to get ourselves registered on ICPAS.

So anyway..
Time to go enjoy the last day of my holiday.

PS: can someone please tell me why my blog takes eons to load?

The Media Industry

2006-12-31T12:16:00.000+08:00

I dont know if you feel the same.
Mediacorp has been doing nothing but giving us lousy actors, lousy scripts, coupled with lousy producers and a terrible fashion sense.
The script's always about adultry, some illegitimate child looking for the father, or some uncle acting as a ah beng wannabe.
oh yes. i'm tired.

Why are we paying $110 for TV license when the only use for my TV is for my Play Station 2?

i got this off the MDA Webiste:
http://www.mda.gov.sg/wms.www/1001qns.aspx
What does the MDA do?
The MDA was established in 2003 to champion the realisation of the Media 21 vision and in the process, transform Singapore into a vibrant global media city. The MDA will achieve this with its dual-function role i.e championing the growth of the media industry through the Media 21 blueprint and manage media content to protect core values and safeguard consumers’ interests.

"championing the growth of the media industry"
What growth?

Yawn.
Do we actually have to pay to watch Mediacorp shows? Cos i'll gladly subscribe to Starhub Cable and watch HBO Movies all day.

I'm not watching these home made shit like.. What's that 9pm show with Zoe Tay and Lee Nan Xing?
Zzzz..

I cant help but notice the uncanny resemblance with Holland Village and most of the other shows.
On the other hand, i also think it looks like those typical Hong Kong series.. Except with lousier actors cos all Mediacorp actors do is scream at the top of your lungs and make such terrible noises.. Like.. Yvonne Lin Xiang Ping? God knows if i got her name correct.

I hate it cos when they play such shows in TV Mobile, her high pitch voice with mark my words one expression - fierce means that i'll get a headache when i try to sleep.

Note to all Mediacorp artists: Frowning is only one type of expression. It does not apply to everything like sadness, agony, frustration, jealousy, and hatred. Cos I really cant tell the difference between all these expressions when all you do is frown, then shriek.

Please do something about the scripts.
Oh.. And the Superstar, superband, campus superstar??
Shit, they're all the same.
I seriously doubt the capabilities of some of their judges? Like Zhou Chong Qing? Seriously? I think you only tell me if they look good. And you dont look good in terms of your dress sense to begin with, so i guess you cant criticise much.

You want growth?
I'm teaching you growth.
Seriously, if the relevant organisations take my advice, you'll see growth.

Marriage

2006-12-29T00:18:00.000+08:00

I can never understand why our outings always turn into a debate about marriage.

Guess it's because the guys, being generally older, and well.. dating their girlfriends for eons.. kind of consider that option.
Well, being the nice responsible people they are, they considered.

I have to admit those are great catches. So much so that i compare them to some of my friends and scream "go do something about it and stop whining!"

so it's like you do know you dont really have the qualities to make it on my list. Please go do something about it and stop whining. My criteria is not insane.

But again, it's funny that different people talk to the same person about different topics..and they reveal how much they know. Some guys are obsessed with dota, but i guess you do see the other side of them that has.. well.. depth. Quite unlike what most no life gamers are... that probably account for 98% of those in the gaming world.

High IQ, even higher EQ, and a hell lot of humour packed with it. What else can you ask for?
Oh right.

Committment.

But seriously, with such wonderful qualities, you should be worried.

Grades!!

2006-12-28T10:43:00.000+08:00

camera's spoilt.
pictures turned out..

If my grades had to be so consistent, i was kind of hoping for a straight As rather than a straight Bs. But again.. i got the job.. so..

Women of our time

2006-12-24T11:43:00.000+08:00

Was watching Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, and the evil villian Barkis Bittern asked the corpse bride "Can a heart still break after it's stopped beating?"
Funny. I've never thought of it that way.

You know how zombies in movies always appear as mindless creatures? inability to think, to feel?
like those in Resident Evil?
Those chinese movies always portray them as being some bloodthirsty freak.
It's everything that you picture the dead to be.

Dead.

Guess i liked the film cos the corpse bride's got spunk.

Speaking of which, i just realised that Audrey Hepburn has a size 10 feet!
Ha. If there's a connection.. any at all to the greatest actress (or so i claim) of all time, I dont mind admitting that i have big feet as well!

I didnt like her because she's pretty. I like her because she's a beautiful person.

Funny. Why did i name this entry "women of our time" when the people i'm talking about are dead?

Not that you dont already know that the other person i adore is Queen Cleopatra herself. Mind you, not Elizabeth Taylor. I meant the Egyption. At least, what Shakespare depicts her to be.

Hmm.
So.. what's going on?
Where have all the great women gone?

Tiffany's blue box

2006-12-23T16:28:00.000+08:00

This blog's getting impossible to load..

I love Tiffany & Co. Partly cos of its pretty jewellery..

but more because of the prestige in that little blue box.

That's branding.

I wonder why most Singaporeans dont frequent it.
(Partly due to its prices i guess..)

But hey! Assuming you dont get divorced, it's actually pretty cheap say.. when you depreciate it over 50 years.
Alright.
Who am i kididng?

Guess i got obsessed with helping my friend select the perfect ring.

D____*: "Lee Hwa or SK?"
Snufflezz: "How about Tiffany's?"
D____: "@#$%^&*()(*&^%$"

So much for trying to be helpful...
In the end we settled for SK, mainly due to the price (Singaporean men~~)
Although i suspected that the miserable 2 carat wont be good enough for his more than perfect girlfriend, good luck with the proposal!!

Oh.. Merry Christmas to all!

*Name removed to protect the poor dude's identity.

Beauty Queen

2006-12-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

Jason insists that his Princess girl's the prettiest girl he's ever laid eyes on.
Of cos, being the hypocrite friend that i am, i politely didnt point out the fact that her nose is a little to flat to be considered of beauty queen quality. I also politely didnt mention the fact that unless he thinks his - genes & his wife's - genes could turn into + genes, she needs to consider plastic surgery to join miss universe. but again, if you take a look at the miss singapore contestants that look so.... plain, anyone can join, so he really shouldnt worry. But again, these bad karma really hits you like a boomerang. Take for e.g., my nasty boyfriend who doesnt think i'm anywhere near good looking. Fortunately, there's easier alternatives to solve it... say.. running off with someone who appreciates me better.

But that would add on to the bad karma. Jason is so going to kill me when he reads this.

Every parent thinks their child is the prettiest.

But i've come to the sudden realisation that contrary to what they think, the only baby i think is cute is the kid off Jackie Chan's Rob B Hood. Or maybe me when i was an infant!

Ok, the second one's probably biased.

So are you going to market yourself as a carrier of good genes so the person who consummates with you has a better chance of having a prettier baby?
At least a better chance i guess.

If that's really the case, make sure you define beauty from a broader perspective, cos what you think is pretty may not appeal to the mass.

Sexual Consent

2006-12-17T17:11:00.000+08:00

Came across this.

WILL YOU STOP HARPING ABOUT IT ALREADY?

2006-12-13T10:29:00.000+08:00

it's simple. really.
so one day you tell yourself let's shut out all your friends.
cling on to your family and most beloved boy/girlfriend.
sure, your parents wont desert you.
your boy/girlfriend might.
then one day you'll have no friends + no boy/girlfriend.
then as you age, one day your parents might leave this world.
then one day you wake up to find yourself so helpless because you have no friends + no boy/girlfriend + no parents.

now that's going to be very sad.

but i'm not supposed to care.
we're all not supposed to care.
because this day you turn us from your door.
compare our affections like a jealous kid.
then this is the day we shut you out.

then this is the day you'll find out how selfish man can be.
and i may not even be there to see that day come.

who i ought to be

2006-12-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

i ought to be a politician.
given my notorious sarcasm for the kind of policies in singapore, the government need voices like mine.
then perhaps i should write in the forum in the name of "paper voices", ripped off a character named julia marks in one of the books i read when i was ten.
but again, my views are superficial, usually ranting about the misery lives of the lower income without caring about the concerns of the "elite and uncaring".
and of cos, in the general welfare of my great democratic country.

let's work on that part called "democracy".

and that "7% GST".

but again, when i'm one of the very well paid MPs, i probably couldnt care less.
now that's the fundamental behavior of all mankind.
why contradict with the guys that pay you?

that's one of my biased beliefs.

but again, that's how the enron scandal got about.
hmm..

i'm beginning to think that all pays, allowances, transport and entertainment expenses of all MPs should be declared. for better corporate governance.
(are they already declared?)

maybe that's something i need to research on..
hmm..

Camp Ideapolis

2006-12-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

Back from camp.
this is the first camp i didnt have fun at all.
maybe i learnt something.
i wont have 8 kids.

Aftermath

2006-12-05T10:26:00.000+08:00

Finally! Chalet's over!
Here's your favourite part:

I kept thinking that 40 people's really a small and manageable group.

i forgot that:

1) some people get lost --> have to fetch them

2) some people dont know anyone else --> have to entertain them

3) some people like some other people from the chalet --> have to matchmake them

Hmm.. Busy day.. but pretty fun..

I've got a couple of nice pressies too!

The tak-lors gave me a calendar.

NTU peeps wrote notes for me in a little book.

I thought those were really sweet.

These too!

Hee:

Hope you guys had fun!

Time for the war for module!

Announcement

2006-12-03T17:45:00.000+08:00

This announcement will remain on the top post until 3 Dec. Please scroll down for newer posts.

Hi guys,

The details of the chalet are as follows:

Date: 2 Dec 2006 (you can consider staying all the way til the 4th) - taklors, please try to come on the first, we have the whole place to ourselves!!!
Time: any time after 6 = dinner ready

Chalet: HomeTeamNS Pasir Ris Holiday Chalets
Unit: A2

Address: 124A – 124H Pasir Ris Road, Pasir Ris Beach Park, Singapore 519120
Nearest car park: Public Car park F

Please refer to attached pdf for map or visit http://www.hometeamns.sg/index.cfm?GPID=47 for more details.

I wont be catering cos of the cost ($$$) > benefit issue, so will be having a BBQ and I’ll find some other food to keep us alive. Hope you guys don’t mind.

Things you might wanna consider bringing:
Mahjong set & chips (please tell me if you wanna bring that so I can go rent tables)
Cards
Stuff you usually bring + an extra change of clothes if you have the intention of smashing the cake in my face cos I wont make your life any easier after that :p
Cameras!

Strictly no drugs please.
By invitation only: i will turn you away if i dont feel like seeing you that day.

Huixin's bday announcement

2006-11-27T17:48:00.000+08:00

Yoz~

Tarloks! Finally my turn le! Yeah! My 21st bdae celebration will be at home. My auntie cooking. She very good at it..gt do catering for us for celebrations like very young bdae celebrations. So ya, gt her to cook for my celebration.

Date: 9th Dec 2006
Time: 7pm ( can come earlier to help) ^_^
Venue: Huixin's house

All of you are welcome to bring your bf along. Up to your discretion. Let you choose to bring or not to bring. Must RSVP orh..so I know the number of pple turning.

Actually is just simple dinner la..but if you want to play games like mahjong or cards, let me know then I see how lo.

Okie..cya!

Huixin

Lousy Domain Names

2006-11-26T11:16:00.000+08:00

http://www.nextwebgen.com/2006/08/02...-company-urls/

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URL
Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today’s
world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name
selected as other see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do
this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies
who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn’t give
their domain names enough consideration:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents’ where you can find the name of the agent
that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South
Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their
whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com
__________________

Friday Rules

2006-11-25T12:52:00.000+08:00

The rules are simple.

Friday Nights are date nights.
Friday Nights are boys/girls' night out only if:
1) you dont have a bf/gf
2) your other insignificant half do not wish to see your face
3) you're tagging along to your boys/girls' night out

Isnt that the unwritten fundamentals?

So my point is, this rule ought to be strictly followed.

Schedule

2006-11-22T21:14:00.000+08:00

The next few days are going to be hell for me:

29 Nov: KPMG interview
30 Nov: DT interview
1 Dec: EY interview/ chalet
2 Dec: Chalet
3 Dec: Chalet
4 Dec: Chalet
5 Dec: Break
6 Dec: Camp
7 Dec: Camp
8 Dec: Camp

Right, I have an interview on the actual day of my birthday!
Luckily I have Lena to help me with the preparations.

Someone sent me this nice nice list of muffins!
I'm so tempted to try it out..
Any takers?

Dear Lena, I know I said that I dont mind baking cookies, but its so much easier to buy from marks and spencers! Guess I have no need to bake them now.

Haha!

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

HELP!!!!
i just calculated my points using the new GPA system..
and i got a 2.96 = no honours!!!!

Acc 3 student's honours not rated based on that right?
RIGHT???

now i'm so freaking scared.

the other truth

2006-11-14T09:59:00.000+08:00

My brother lamented that we should be made to pay increases in tax since there's a surplus in the budget (studying econs for As now, so can quote facts)

while eating a doughnut and too tired to think, i commented that some place have a 17.5% tax, hence our country's new 7% is pretty low.

and i suddenly realised and told him:

BUT THOSE ARE WELFARE STATES!!!

people there get retirement benefits, we have to save for our own retirement through CPF, which may not be enough.

Single parents can queue up for social benefits. Unwed girls here cant even get the baby bonus! So that's why the probability of babies appearing in rubbish dumps actually exist.

Oh, so my government are playing mind games now. you see, before elections they give people money to 'cope with the economy', which they claim have nothing to do with elections.
so means after elections can raise the GST to 7% ?

you see, for those of you who forgot your economic theory, there are a few types of tax:
poll tax - stupidest cos it taxes rich and poor same amount
progressive tax - usually on income to place more burden on the rich
regressive tax - to kill consumers like us GST GST GST GST GST cos we have no choice die die have to pay if you want to buy stuff.

i can almost predict this:

yea. wait til the bus company increases prices again due to 'increases in cost of goods and service'.

then you ministers with the high paycheck to notice the little difference it makes to your pockets can sit in your air-conditioned office (adding CFCs to the environment) while common people are jumping off mrt tracks cos we are all too fucking poor.

see?
now we all know why.

time to take a walk

2006-11-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

I admit i'm not much of a counsellor. not good at encouraging people, and i fail at handling relationships.

I've always believed in the contradicting sides of logic and passion when it comes to handling these things, so when i yell "it's not about whether you're good enough for another person", i know i'm preaching. after all, i'm talking about another person. sounds easy doesnt it? it's so much clearer to look at what others do.

i score less at self-criticism. i just block out all possible voices.

When both the logic and passion voices becomes muffled, one reality becomes crystal clear:
How can i expect anyone to love me when i dont even love myself?

Guide to English

2006-11-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! = I've got my period

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING "WHAT'S WRONG?".....

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain in the butt

I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam

THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy

"I'm tired" = I'm tired

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you" = Let's have sex now

"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look any different!

"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

"I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!!!

No man is an island.

2006-11-11T15:44:00.000+08:00

No man is an island.

I try to be.

I've been stocking up on food and water and everything i need in my 10 metresquare room (ok.. you know how lousy my estimation and math is, i have no idea how small it is)

I must say i love it. i have a queen size bed, enough wardrobe space (although its bursting, but the salesperson said it was enough for two person), a nice little dressing table, and a desk (recently, i found out that one of my tutorial mate has to share a study table with her sister, so for that i'm very grateful), 2 notice boards, 2 bookshelves, a laptop, and a laser printer.

of cos there's a trade-off.

I can barely walk in my room.

I think the business modules about a company's ability to self-sustain is getting to me.

I'm insane enough to walk past a binding machine in Carrefour and stop and stare. Fact is i dont need it, but think of all the things i can do with it! (bind) oh wait.. i only have one more sem to go... what can i bind? at most 3 reports??!!

but that's just fantasy. i would consider a TV, but there's absolutely no space to put it. and.. i have no TV cable.. so that sucks..

No need for a fridge cos i dont really drink cold drinks.. but a fridge for ice cream! omg! let me see.. i'll put it on top of my dressing table and block my mirror. yep.. nice try.

I think i forgot that the company has limits to growth.. i need to expand my room size before i can be self-sustainable by adding stuff..

in case you're wondering, my guitar is on top of my wardrobe collecting dust.. nowhere else to put it.

the worst part is, when i throw my teddy bear off the bed when i sleep at night, it rebounces off the wall and falls back to me.

and.. i've also come to the realisation that i cant be an island without a bathroom.

cakes!!

2006-11-07T17:11:00.000+08:00

cakes.

i dont know about you. i find the cakes in the shape of a key particularly unattractive.
fact is, i'd rather then just do it in the number "21" than a key.

so.. who wants a plain round tiramisu cake?

Dictionary

2006-11-07T12:49:00.000+08:00

got this off the Internet

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

2006-11-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

but you can declare your undying love for someone else in a public blog over the internet.

and it kills you to say it to me.

i'm not angry.
i'm disappointed.

some people just dont get it

2006-11-01T02:50:00.000+08:00

of course. i've said this before.

you lay your filthy tongues off my friends.

it's just too bad you're not in my school or i will make your life a living hell.

you want to scold them? get past me.

and just because you fucking cant get into my school doesnt mean you can insult
"smart undergrads".

yes i am making a fuss out of this because you caught me at a fucking bad mood.
and i repeat: no one insults my friends.

if my lawyer's still in singapore, i would have sued the living crap out of you.

kids

2006-10-30T11:37:00.000+08:00

finally finished all the applications.
phew..

they're all safely packed in my file. as long as i remember to bring it tomorrow i'll be safe.
are you kidding? of cos i'll skip lessons to get home to get it if i forgot them.

lessons are short term. careers are long term.
its time you get your priorities right.

i was watching the suite life of zach and cody.. then suddenly i thought: hey.. will they be on drugs and ruin their future when they grow up? seems that kids stars never exactly turned out well. look at that home alone or sixth sense guys!

sigh. i think influences these days are not becoming any better.

speaking of kids. at last! lena and i agree on one thing. the baby from Rob B Hood is absoblutely gorgeous.

hey. i'm no paedophile.

yea, but that dude's pretty charming la.
17 days to the damn thing called exams.
let's get it over and done with so i can celebrate!!!

the purpose

2006-10-29T11:18:00.000+08:00

our lives are for a greater purpose.

whatever that means.

we do not purely exist to enjoy ourselves and waste our lives away.

or do we?

http://www.lightamillioncandles.com/
to stop child porn.

maybe we do. look at all the retail shops these days: they sell indulgence.
they sell a lifestyle more than half the world cannot afford.
but if you're reading this off a computer screen, you're one of the lucky ones.

like me.

i am ambitious. i want to be like warren buffet.
smart, rich, and not forgetting people who need him.
i just hope that if i really am that successful, the success doesnt blind me.

and over.

2006-10-26T01:45:00.000+08:00

I am sick and tired of having to fill in applications..
and they say: please fill in your grades..

from o levels to a levels to uni.

do you have any idea how long it is? multiply by the number of forms you fill in!!

sian.
i'm doing the same thing over.
and over.
and over.
and over.
and it pisses me off.

sleep

2006-10-24T23:04:00.000+08:00

i've always been a light sleeper.

but i dont understand why those bikers have to blast their speakers at 2am in the morning. cos when they stop at the traffic junction, i can hear them!!!!!

it's not like i live in the lower levels too!

terrible people.

so i sat up from 2am to 3am because some bastards woke me up.

common sense

2006-10-23T18:26:00.000+08:00

bumped into derrick today. literally bumped.

i was holding today's today and trying to read off the sports session. my immediate reaction was to stare at the rude person who bumped into me.

yep. damn fierce. but well, you cant stay angry for long with a cute guy. so we sat down for coffee and do what we do best. ~~ bitch.

so anyway..

family argument about whether we should help our relatives who quoting my exact words "got hands got legs dont want to work". mind you. he's got job offers too.

mum says i shouldnt interfere. i think otherwise. we cant keep feeding parasites at the expense of our bacon.

it's not like they really need the help anyway. how can anyone who can afford to wear billabong not be able to pay their utilities?
that's crap.

mum says i'm becoming too "accountant"

i think that's common sense.

feeding them will only encourage them to live off others.

i might as well use the cash to feed my westie. or clownfish. whichever i decide to buy first. joy asks me if i want hamsters. i cant bear the thought of them tearing each other's eyes out if i forget to feed them water. so strictly no furry small creatures.

they scare the hell out of me.

so anyway. my uncle complains that i shouldnt be so hard hearted. he says i shouldnt penalise them for what they did in the past.

seriously? i feel sorry for him. he's a great guy. it's just too bad people manipulate him cos he's nice.

i'm really tempted to go to the press and tell the public: stop giving them donations! they are not as poor as you think! no! they are devious creatures who betray their family for money! so any reporters want a report on the real family condition of a family you've been portraying as poor and needy?

snufflezz's got the insider info!

it all narrows down to one point. i will make a great accountant. and the worst relative to have.

2006-10-14T15:01:00.000+08:00

The haze is bad.

The country responsible for our misery is crying for help. sorry i meant $$.

feels like a threat doesnt it? well, we cant control this shit, so if we dont get help, you'll have to learn to live with it.

blasphemies. my geography textbooks tells me this haze is the cause of farmers who are not ignorant. no. they are just selfish.

it's just too bad i still remember the things they did to the chinese during the riots.

we all know that we are obliged to do things people want us to, whether we like it or not because we are in this nexus. we're all "in it together".

i'm waiting for the day mother nature takes care of them. this time, i'll be siding with her.

The answer to my question..

2006-10-08T17:53:00.000+08:00

1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:

a - Football
b - Baseball
c - How fat you are.
d - How much prettier she is than you.
e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died.

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."

The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:

2 - "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." Wrong answers include:

a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?

3 - "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:

a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b - Compared to what?
c - A little extra weight looks good on you.
d - I've seen fatter.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.

4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include:

a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.

5 - "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband.
"Why do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"All right," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?"
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed."

Source: http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_77.htm

AB311

2006-10-08T10:35:00.000+08:00

this the the first time they're doing e-learning for accountancy students.

if you ask me.. it's a lot better cos i can pause, rewind, and fast forward. (oh yes, i'm typing this as the lecture is going on)

you know how some lecturers tend to mumble to themselves, or merely read off the slides?

ha. my friend took a photo of the poor guy.. but i think i cant post it up cos the school will come after me.

joy asked me why i cant seem to find time for anything. funny. why cant i seem to find time for anything? i think travelling time is just a waste. but hey.. it's just my poor judgment. as usual.

yep.. poor judgment. i just hope it doesnt apply to every aspect of my life, especially for the AB311 simulation game.

hmm..

mooncake festival

2006-10-07T00:16:00.000+08:00

the car stopped inches in front of me.
or at least.. i think its a few inches.

it's a long story.. really..

it started with the meeting for our AA205 project. thinking that all of us have no one to meet on a mid-autumn festival anyway,
- joy's not meeting her bf tonight
- yihui doesnt even celebrate it cos according to her culture, the real festival to carry lanterns is at the first lunar month
- danny broke up anyway
-eric doesnt have a gf (we guess, still speculating)

we decided to do our project at clarke quay.

the haze was bad, so by 7 pm i was literally tearing. eventually eric volunteered to put on his lenses and give me his lens case.

so i took one of the late trains back. at the bus interchange, i decided to take the first bus that came along cos i didnt want to be stuck in that deserted corner of the interchange with a couple of weirdos. so i took one of the buses which would land me a street away from my block.

problem was, i forgot i wasnt wearing my glasses, and.. there were no traffic lights.

so to get home, it involved straddling across a few blocks, then crossing one teeny weeny junction. all i could see were blur outlines of lights. so that's like.. well done, good luck, have a nice day.

that was when the car screeched to a halt.
and i think the driver either waved his hand to ask me to pass or waved his middle finger (i couldnt tell)

so i'm home in one piece,
and it's past twelve.

computer idiots

2006-10-04T22:58:00.000+08:00

got this off: http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_stupsales.shtml

Back in my "less mature" days, I loved nothing better than going to electrical shops (not specialist PC dealers, but the type of place where you can by toasters, washing machines, vacuum cleaners, etc) and winding up the less experienced salesmen.
So I hung out in the shop one Saturday and poked around the PCs until a salesman approached me.
Salesman: "Can I help you, sir?"
Me: "Could you tell me about this PC?"
Salesman: "Well sir, this PC comes with..." (reads the specs off the display card)
Me: "Ok, but what is the clock speed of the CPU?"
Salesman: "Oh, you'll have no worries there. It's 24 hour."
Me: (trying to keep a straight face) "But that's no good to me. I'm really bad with 24 hour times."
Salesman: "That's not a problem. This PC comes pre-loaded with Windows 97, which can convert the PC back to a 12 hour clock if you prefer that."
Me: "Ok, I'll think about it." I had to leave the shop and sit on a bench until my sides stopped hurting.

---------

It was 1995. I was a freshman in college. I'd just gone to the computer labs for the first time to get signed up for an account on the campus network. The tech support guy I talked to wanted the specs on my machine, so I told him. At the time, I had a 28.8 modem. He told me I must be mistaken.

Me: "Why?"
Tech Support: "They don't make 28.8 modems. The phone lines can't support them."
Me: "Uhhh. I ran a BBS for four years back home and helped over 200 people get their modems set up. I know what I'm doing with modems, and I promise you I have a 28.8."
Tech Support: "Nope. You must be mistaken. 2400 is the fastest modem available today."
Me: "No, that was six years ago. The modems are faster now."
Tech Support: "Why would they make modems faster? It's not like the phone lines can support anything faster than 2400 in the first place."
At this point, I just gave up and walked out. I went back to my dorm, grabbed the modem's box, which I had used to transport some electronic gadgets, and brought it back to the tech guy. I brought my friend along because I figured he'd be entertained by all this.

Me: "Hi, it's me again. I just thought I'd show you this box, which clearly states that it's a 28.8 modem."
Tech Support: "Oh, that's a ZOOM modem. Well, ZOOM is widely known in the industry for lying about the capabilities of their modems. It's a 2400, but they say it's a 28.8 so people will buy it instead of a Hayes, which is the only good modem out there."
At this point, several people, including my friend, were laughing at this moron.

Me: (to others in the room) "Say, what's the fastest speed of modem out there?"
Everyone: "28.8!"
The tech support guy got mad and suggested that we all enroll in the "Introduction to Computers" seminar they were offering.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - corner

2006-10-04T17:28:00.000+08:00

This is not fair.

It's my life right?
Right???

so how come i'm not in control of it?
who decides who gets to "book" me on what day?
what to go for?
what to do?
what to think?

who decides that?
not me.

"i'll meet you on friday huh"
"i'll see you tomorrow"

but i dont want to see you guys.

i want to just hide in a corner with my potato chips.

so who gets to decide who i wanna be?

?

2006-10-03T21:56:00.000+08:00

have you forgotten what it feels like?

i cant handle everything.

it's all just in my mind.
or is it?

guess i can live with this.. "i dont know what's gonna happen next" feeling.

oh well.

music these days..
sex hatred violence.

what happened to "heal the world" or "where is the love"?

where's the awareness for third world hunger?
aids?
terrorism?

world peace?

ha.

so we're all trapped.
this cycle of.. hatred, repression, self-centerness.

i think we forgot how to love.

i forgot what its like to be proud of what i do anymore.

i used to just say: admit it. you like me.
really?
i dont even like myself anymore.

Read between the lines.

2006-10-01T16:55:00.000+08:00

chanced upon a blog.

you have no idea what the odds are cos i just clicked "next blog" and i found this:

HL316

That sounds familiar.
Hell.. Isnt that a Lit module?

yep. Think Shi'en takes that module..

so i read on.

Yeah.
I thought to myself.. That sounds like a Lit student..
Wait a min.. That is the Lit student.

That's like totally Shi'en style!

So i read on.. and guess what i found?

"Waiyue smsed me just now about taking part in some Biz Plan competition together. Although I was not really interested in it, I decided to take on the "why not?" attitude and make the unconventional decision. So my reply to "Are you still serioud about joining the Business Plan?" was, as anybody can guess by now, "Er.. I am really fine with it." Just hope that my inspiration would go dry on me when I needed it later on."

Maybe i really should learn to read between the lines.
Hey.. I'm sorry bro.. No idea you were that unwilling to do it.

Guess i really should appreciate my friends a little more..

the beginning of a new war

2006-10-01T12:28:00.000+08:00

bought sparkles.. who wanna play with me?

my wound healed already..
at least the surface has closed up..
and it looks decent actually..

until my friend started making a remark: maybe outside healed inside rotting..

fuck!

sucks i guess..
i mean how deep can it be? it looks harmless.
except maybe now my office has a weird stain on the table that i havent been bothered to get rid of..

i'm just thankful its not my face... lucky bitch..

so anyway.. i'm declaring my war against engineers.
and i'm sacking her.

i dont freaking care if your looks are pathetic.
it sucks when you look miserable and you scare away my customers with your du lan face.

Weak Women

2006-09-30T11:29:00.000+08:00

Had a good laugh reading about how to take revenge on men

check out xiaxue's 22nd sep entry if you're free..
haha

bored?

2006-09-29T23:22:00.000+08:00

got this off jocelin's webbie who got this from diana's webbie

Can you name 13 of ur friends that u can think of right off the top of your head.Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 13 people.This is a lot funnier if you actually randomly list the names first.No Cheating!!!

1. guirong 2. jocelin 3. lena - in alphabetical order cos all 3 of u are of equal importance
4. jac
5. lili
6. tiong meng
7. kaijing
8. shuling
9. huixin
10. mansell
11. johnny
12. eric
13. danny

How did you meet 10?*
unfortunately, he was the guy that tortured my life for 2 years by sitting in front of me in class.

What would you do if you had never met 2?
then i probably wouldnt have existed in TMS.

What would you do if 6 and 10 dated?
impossible.. that will make them gays.. besides, 6 is too good for 10.

Have you ever seen 4 cry?
doubt so.. remind me to kick the tears out of him.

Do you think 10 is cute?
no.

How did you get to know 8?
NTU.. my trusty group mate!!!

Would you ever go on a date with number 12?
oh man.. he's cute!! why not?? wait a min.. i just went out with him today! ha.

What's 7's Favorite color?
purple?

What would you do if 6 confessed she/he loved you?
haha. i dunno.. we confess to each other every other day anyway.. laugh it off i guess..

Fact about 9:
she has a crush on.. ahem..

Who is 4 steading with?
hahaha!! this one i know.. =P

who is number 5 to you?
my sis, biz partner, and best friend 12 years my senior.

Would you ever live with 13?
ha. he did offer to rent his place to me.. hmm..

Is 1 single?
nope.. taken!

Where does 7 live?
bedok..

What do you think about 3?
our happy angel!

What's the best thing about number 8?
she's always happy! love to see her smile! she makes the most bleak future look bright!

What do you like about number 11?
the most trustworthy person you can find i suppose.. as long as he doesnt nag

Favorite Memory with 5?
kicking the asses of those horny men!

hmm..

2006-09-29T11:02:00.000+08:00

The world is a treacherous place.

Graduation essentially means you're kicked out of that shelter you've been in for the past 21-7=14 years of your life. And that's already more than half of your pathetic lifespan (til now) already. take off the 3 years off kindergaten and pre-school, we've all been schooling for 17 years.

That's us.

It's just too bad we're all not kids anymore.

being 21 means people can sue the shit out of you. you have to care about what you say, what you do, why you're doing it.

responsibility is for 4 year olds trying to grow up.

i hate it.

people do the stupidest things to stay alive, to climb up that ladder, to earn the big bucks.

then should we fall to see what we've all been blind to?

when the fundamentals of civilsation is reduced to its most primitive stage, we'll all be useless liabilities who cant even hunt rabbits for dinner.

NO!!!

2006-09-24T22:47:00.000+08:00

i dont care what they say
if your girlfriend breaks up and suggests watching romantic comedies, say NO!!
No as in NO!!!

Spent the whole evening watching "Addicted to love" and "A lot like love".
and i couldnt even pretend that i like it.

women are scary if you ask me..

so all of us cant get our lives sorted out right.

and i really suck when it comes to the "hey i broke up come accompany me" pal.
and its just that..

maybe i really need to work on that.
everyone's screwing their lives up anyway.
my services may come in handy.

Happy!

2006-09-23T17:53:00.000+08:00

i love Adam Sandler.

He keeps me happy.. He must be that one guy whose shows i've watched most often.. Missed Click though.. What a shame..

The Longest Yard
50 First Dates
Anger Management
The Hot Chick
Big Daddy
The Waterboy
The Wedding Singer
Happy Gilmore

Point is..
I really think he ought to win more awards.

"My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush."

Guess what? Think i need a life.