blog

i've always been pretty proud of my blog.
i still am.
i've also been pretty proud of my network of friends.
of course, recently, i'm beginning to suspect i've made enemies as well.
many people reading this dont know my past.
i've been trying to hide the stains under my squeaky clean front.
pride, perhaps, or just the belief that no one will be watching what i do anyway.
perhaps i'm wrong.

recently i've seen people waiting to see me fail, to see me fall.
so you really think i'm untested? that i've never fallen? that such tricks will despair me?
do you think i would cry everytime i'm faced with a new challenge?
or get frustrated?
i would very much like to - it proves that i'm human.
unfortunately, i'm not. so i find it highly amusing, and of course, disappointed that there are people who actually want to hurt me.
after all, what have i done?
i believe in karma, i havnt been a very nice person these days.
ask wenjie, i practically screamed at him when i was doing the FM excel.
but people like him forgive.

i dont. unless i forget.

bad karma perhaps.
after all, i'm lacking in conscience.

i love my sceondary school days very much because it shapes me to be the person i now am, for better or worse, it was the shelter that protected me.
perhaps an icon, or a symbol of an institution. perhaps the remnants of my faith.

who wants to be me?
whoever that has a lower confidence than myself, who likes being tempted, challenged and pampered, who dreams of getting into my course, who wants to have the ability to speak and write the way i do, whoever that hates me.
not smart, not pretty, but good enough, isn't it?
because unlike you, i love the way i am.

P.S. came across this in my school webbie. check it out. =)
http://mediacast.sun.com/share/kevin/BestCommercialEver.mpg