confessions

i shall confess about something i shouldnt have done but i have been doing it very often..

i cant stand it myself sometimes too..

i tend to show all my emotions on my face.. especially when i have moodswings.. when i am very upset about something.. or when i am affected by some events..

and obviously,my friends can see that i am troubled,and yet, i refused to "trouble" them with my problems,knowing that they are also stressed and troubled with all their studies,relationships,etc..

but...

instead of helping them reduce their trouble,they added me to their burden and hence i myself became a "trouble" to them..

knowing myself,asking me not to show emotions on my face is tough,very tough..if i could i wouldnt have shown..i just cant help it but sulk at times when i am affected by some incident.. and it is all the evil thoughts that i am not good enough, or comparing with others who are sooooooo much better than me, the feeling of being left-out coz i wasnt very familiar with that group of friends, all these just made my days went very bad.. :(

and it is all those stupid negative thoughts that just made me miserable and my friends worry for me..

why am i like that?

i hope to change..

i will defeat the demon within me..

wait for me..

one day i will win and get back all the bubbly and cheerful side of me..:)

positive thought of the day:i may not be the prettiest girl in the world, but i am not the ugliest either..=)

ps.another confession to make,i should be studying for my econs now..instead of blogging here..