miracles

i shouldnt waste time waiting for miracles. that's what i keep telling myself.

move on.

so why cant i?
why cant we all move on?

because we cant forget someone just because he/she doesnt love us back in return?
it's not so easy to forget.
i heard someone say during the meeting at subway.

ok. maybe that's why.

what's the point? silly humans. waiting for miracles, knowing some things will not happen. til the expectations wear you down, then you begin to realise that perhaps your reason for existence is being questioned. so why cant i? why cant you? it's not as if we're thrown into the deepest parts of the fiery chasm. how long will it take before you unlock that heart?

i judge people too harshly, expecting them to feel, think, and act the way i do. i expect too much from them. i expect more from the people i love, giving them more stress than i know.

then i pause and think: do i expect the same from myself?

it's so hard to breathe at night, as though the air's gone thinner.

how did things turn out like this? living my life in a meaningless state. nothing but routine. nothing's wrong. nothing's wrong.

my life is so perfect i begin to doubt if i'm really living it.

no. this is not the ending i'm looking for. scrape the logical ideas.
give me back the silly hope of waiting for miracles.

if it's the only thing that still brings emotion to me.

let's rewrite this chapter.