scars

HAPPY CNY!

sigh..
this year doesnt look good.
you know how decisions you make in the past hits you like a boomerang.
i'm beginning to feel the pain.

if naive decreases with age, i must be young.
doing things like one of the blind mice.
honestly trusting.
stupidity.

i have trouble falling asleep.
i can do without the dreams anyway.
in the past i thought 100% effort will give you 100% returns.
then the hopes dimished to 50% returns.
now i know that 100% effort may end you up with nothing in return.
now i tell myself i have nothing to lose.

there's a difference between loving someone and needing someone.
i've yet to figure that out.
i shouldnt have time to think.
the more i think the more mistakes i make.
i cant even see your shadow these days.
i think it's retribution.

maybe i'm just a little confused or lost.
funny.
i've always thought i got my directions figured out.
maybe not.
i just cant see the big picture.
i think i've already lost you.

it's not that i dont know my morals.
i just lack common sense.