determination

i resloved to quit drinking some time ago. resolved.. that is..
sometimes you dont really have to stick to it.

most of the time i'm really determined. i suppose maybe most of the time i'm not really addicted to anything.

lately i've discovered that our group seems to be falling apart.. into the non-ntus and the ntus.
of course no one knows what i'm talking about, basically because i'm half drunk.

not totally drunk that is, so i'm just writing rubbish that no one cares.

no i havent read the papers. and i'm not interested to know why there's a hurricane.

i am, however, interested to know what's happening to most of us. people i havent seen in ages, people who are happily attached, people who are still waiting, or people who are just mainly happy with being single.

i'm missing out a category: people who wants to be attached to someone but insists that they are happy remaining single.

you think love is what this world is about?

nah. i dont think so.

of course there are some of us who thinks so highly of themselves you start wondering if hot air was the only thing that's making their head big. yeah.. i'm one of them.

then i imagine my biz comm prof going.. "respect!"

and i sneer.

then there's some of us that have such low confidence i wonder if they even dare to look into the mirror each day. because all they do is compare themselves to others. or maybe magnify their flaws. i dont know. i think i ought to share my sky-high ego with them.

maybe it'll make the world a better place.

but of course we've all failed to see that nothing remains the same.

there's why we learn about paradigm shifts in organisations.

that's why we see people hiring lawyers to get divorced.

"change for the better" they say.. how so? how to? what's better?

who are you to tell me that?
who are you to put anyone down?
you're just like me - full of yourself..

are you not?

and so.. wait if you must.
fight if you must.
be determined.
but when you realise that all hope is lost, dont be stubborn. learn to accept failure and move on.

you know who you are.

stop wasting time.