what women want

i wonder why no one pays me to blog. haha. as if anyone would, this site only has an average of 19 visitors a day, and the figures have dropped over the months, anyone with brains will know i will not be a good business partner.

that aside, i have job offers. as.. guess what? marketing, sales, accounts, admin.. etc.. all these offers in less than 2 months. poly grads will envy me. but the main point is: i have no time. from next week onwards, after my exams, i will be in hibernation, so i suppose i'll be bored and blogging.

hear me whine.

so, my topic for today: what women want.

what women want? do i actually have enough female hormones to write this entry?

Disclaimer: waiyue will not be responsible for any possible break-ups or arguments due to this entry. all comments are made are merely her not-so-humble opinions.

contrary to what people think, women do not want money. dont get me wrong, i dont mean that they dont want to shop, spend, and save. i mean it doesnt really matter if you're not George Soros or Bill Gates. we work, we can earn money for ourselves, thank you. so as long as you're not one of those people merely waiting for the unemployment benefits, we want you. or at least, i do.

so that's why i dont really want to hear the "work hard to have money to get married" crap. i dont really believe in that. it doesnt take that much money to support me. 20k per month is too much, seriously, 8k is more than enough. trust me, it is.

i wonder why men never understand me when i tell them to take a break. they just think i'm insane. i've always believed that it's unethical to earn so much money. it's a trade-off. if you spend more than 8 hours in the office, where the hell are you going to find time to cuddle me? and so now they think i'm not understanding.

i got this off an email.

(those in blue are my responses)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules:

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

you cant count or get your priorities right.

Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that

eyes are for communication. look me in the eye.

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

you wont hear us complaining if you attempt to clean the toilet.

Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be

so is PMS. face it.

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

at least we're working out more than those people watching 20 men chase a ball on TV.

Crying is blackmail.

so is a request for a blowjob.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

and get rejected straight in the face by you? no thank you.

‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

so accept it when it comes to sex.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

at least they have some sort of use. unlike guyfriends of yours.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

let's just say it occurs.. due to foreseen circumstances.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days

then it should be constantly renewed, like my shopping allowance.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

if you think we are stupid, be prepared to go screw yourself.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, you've got it.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
Not both
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials

it's really a lot easier to find another man.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

i totally agree, just drive safely and send me to wisma, not cineleisure, and no, they are not the same.

ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

most women have no interest in computers or cars. it doesnt matter what linux is, or why the cadillac isnt common on singapore roads. we dont need to know how the bus lines work. it just doesnt make sense. and dont go on about your NS days. it's history.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

if you've made a mess, we expect you to clean it up yourself, so do that.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

tell me what's worth it? when "nothing" turns into "something"?

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

then expect the same bedtime story every night. i've got a headache.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really.

no it's not, why else will you want a pretty woman by your side if she's not wearing anything impressive enough?

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
Sex,
Sport, or
Cars

wait.. you actually think?

You have enough clothes

You have too many shoes

i need the shoes to go with my clothes and the clothes to go with my bags. did i mention my earrings?

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

good, so is that 2-carat diamond ring you've promised.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

then stay there. i dont mind having the bed to myself. make it long-term.

women just want your time and attention, not undying obedience. so i guess.. at least pretend to care.