tired

i'm kinda tired.
of school.. life.. relationships..
this mundane routine kills me.
everyday i wake up with a horrible sense of deja vu.
like today was yesterday.
and tomorrow is today.
and i will refuse to wake up.
even when 3 alarms blast in my ear.
i'll just lie on the bed, under the covers and pretend not to have existed - and the world wouldnt miss me.
until i manage to pinch or slap myself.
to wake up to reality.
then memories will run through my mind.
to see what i've missed.
then i'll see images of tutorials, mrts, and him.
then i'll delete that image from my mind,
take a deep breathe and sit up.

to see myself back in my own room.
nowhere else.
and the lingering perfume on my pillow no matter how many times i change the sheets.
i'm just missing the warmth.