colour

my life's not black and white.
extremes, perhaps.
but the gray shadows casts over it.

people tend to see one side of me.
they speculate.
after all, isnt this the girl who outrageously flirts and leads an insanely indecent life?

that's what i have been told.
seems that "slut" seems to be the exact word.

a friend of mine woke me up with his call.
it's been years since i've met him.
but this guy, more than a friend - a brother or counsellor perhaps.
who never fails to be here when i need him the most.
he's seen the strongest and weakest side of me.

a little problem with his girlfriend.. it seems..
and i was the only one willing to listen?

somehow, the topic of my love life interests everyone that know me.
quoting yiyun's "doggie's very concerned."
yes. perhaps.

but he asked me," you're not exactly pretty. how is it possible that you still manage to attract guys?"
awfully wicked of him.. i know.. but it's not the first time i've been questioned this way.
haha.
i have no idea.
so i asked him, "so why were you once in love with me?"

then i realised.

because he has seen that side of me others have not seen.
yet,
to have seen me change.
no one likes me the way i am now.

no one sees beyond that - the girl within.
but once they do, they'll leave me.
like he did.
i'm not sure about the rest.
i never believed that they understood me.
or perhaps because i've never thought of them as a soulmate.