love.. it seems..

who determines if that someone is someone you shouldnt fall in love with?
i mean, how do you know?
i think love is the nicest (and stupidest) feeling ever.
and i think, being stupid enough to fight for your love is the bravest thing anyone can do.

so what if people laugh at you?
you've have nothing to lose.. except the love of your life.
so for those people who know that i'm talking about them..
just do it!

sex video

i love sex videos.
they remind us that we'll living in a facade.

the papers reported that "a small group" of teens have this inclination.
hey. "small group" eh?
how about the young adults?

we like to deceive ourselves.

arent we so proud?
hey.. if i get caught on sex video with a guy whose equipment is freaking big and lasts for 10 minutes, i'll consider flaunting..
like that girl from nyp?

perhaps.
but again, 10 minutes is a little eh.. insufficient.
and erm.. i dont have a phone thst can take videos.

carbo

they always say women change when certain things trigger the transition.
i would think that all Man do.
not just women.
whatever made you guys think that i cant cook? i'm just too lazy to.
and honestly, i do hate to.
unless of course, i've got an incredibly big mansion with a kitchen the current size of my 4 room HDB.
oh yea, i'll cook.

i'll do more than cook.
i'll throw parties every day!
but 4 cars in my garage!
hire a gardener!

the list goes on..

*slaps snufflezz to reality*

i hate reality.
week 9 sem 12.
FRS 14.
ugh~

now you know why i had to bake that potato pie when no one was kind enough to offer it to me.
i love carbo.

i need ur potato pie...

when stressed, we need sources of comfort to calm us down... therefore,

stress -> need source of comfort (1)

they say high carbo food== comfort food == source of comfort.
and since potato is a high carbo food, and potato pie contains potato, therefore,

potato pie == source of comfort (2)

put eqn. (1) and (2) together, we get:

stress -> need potato pie


CONCLUSION: I need ur potato pie....

heh.

here's my all carbo all fat not healthy potato and chicken pie.
on second thought.. i should have put more cheddar and killed everyone's hearts.
if erm.. my control experiments are still alive after a couple of months and you guys are not worried about your weight, i'll bake it for you. =)

responsibility

a friend of mine got married recently, after erm.. how do i put this?
accidentally inflating the womb of one of his many girlfriends.

i really dont know what i ought to be surprised about - the fact that he was willing to take responsibility, or the fact that he didnt know how to exercise proper control during his er.. exercise.

which is quite a shame of course, he's like one of the greatest lovers i've ever known, although i suspect he still will be, given his untame nature.

not that i have anything against him, but hey.. i doubt he will ever sign the papers if not for the fact that she came with a child.
which brings us to the fundamentals of marriage.
or should i say.. a relationship?

a young rich executive.
quite a catch, dont you think?
the bachelor who knew everything about playing.
hey sweetheart, that's a page dedicated to you.
just so that when you start changing diapers, i'm sure you'll miss all that partying.
and hell.. try not to miss me ;)

but again.. i doubt you have time to.
not when you have the fiercest woman i've ever seen in my entire life watching you keep your dainty toes in line.

snufflezz

Snufflezz: http://kevan.org/johari?name=snufflezz
Madwinter: http://kevan.org/johari?name=madwinter
Nana: http://kevan.org/johari?name=smilefortheangel


heh. try it if you are free. it'll be intersting to see what people think of us.

i hate taking orders from people.
snufflezz do this, snufflezz do that.

no sweetheart, i wont.

i'll be glad to take a suggestion.
but no, not an order.

i'm stuck-up.
really.

some stuff cropped up lately.
and all i can do is watch.
i just dont like that feeling.

somehow, i'm almost sure that if i ever get to do something, the situation will be much worse.
i think it's cos i'm rash.

i know i really should lose some weight, but hell.
give me some motivation. haha.

problem

i really think you have a problem.

it's denial.

unpredictable

i suppose when you have a break, you have a hell lot of time to blog.

i think women are capable of every emotion.
i do.


the way they change, from a hopeless romantic to the fiercest of all species.
how amazing.. dont you think?

deem us as the weaker half. are we not the ones that have such a high threshold of pain that will put Achilles to shame?

women win in so many ways unknown to men.
read about how the bronte sisters elevate our status.
or how mary ann evans fooled the whole world.. publishing her works as george eliot.

the start to equality.

i think we still have a long way to go.

------------------------------------------------

the spouse who makes less money, regardless of gender, can seek spousal support from the other half.

that's why i believe in pre-nups.

if that's what equality is about.. i can do without it.
haha.

beauty

we dont follow out instincts anymore.

logic.

why dont we appreciate the beauty of passion?

perhaps we cant afford to.

i make it a point to cut my hair when certain events crop up.

like an argument.
or a break up.

all the sad things i suppose.

when i lose faith.
when i am down.

it's my way of protesting against life.
although i dont see the significance of my actions.

sometimes you wonder why you never seem to be able to let go.
i dont know either.
i cant comprehend your actions.

i dont understand mine.

so when your heart and your mind tells you two different things.
how should you react?

recess

recess recess recess!!!
yay!!!

haha. went to watch movie.
it's like.. woah~ ages since i went through the torture of leg cramps in cinemas cos the seats were too bloody cramped and there was no space for my big feet.

lousy show anyway.

but it's recess!!
yipee!
i'll be going back to jc as an ambassador from uni!
how cool is that?
hehe.

guess what?
i get to wear an entire suit.
watch out!
here i come!!!

anyone still in tpjc?
haha.
join my camp!
lol.

no flow

"blog!"
i havent done so in ages.

i wonder why people still bother checking this page.
let me give you a little update.

if you see a zombie in school. that's me.
if you see an engine-like girl in NBS, that's me.
if anyone didnt get into both credit suisse AND citibank.,
that's me again.

damn. where are my glowing recommendations? i so miss mrs lee.

if everything comes with a price, i think i've accrued a hell lot of debts.
i suppose it does help with you're a full time bitch and nobody likes you.

i do hope so.

i dont understand why you let such things bother you.
and you.
and you.
yes. i'm referring to all of you.

these simple things in life.
let it go.

i really should.

why let it bother me?

i dont like the way we're all so fragile.
it's so freaking easy to break your neck.

how disgustingly weak.

i think i loved you cos i was weak.
i'm so much weaker now.

so now my existence is for a greater cause.

screw existence.
my printer's spoilt.
and i hate having to use 30 pieces of paper to print a 4 page report.

i am so pissed.

Vdae

let me tell you about Valentine's
1. tulips do not go with Vdae.
2. you do not force people to accept roses from you.

you guys should just pool your resources and get me a phone.

HuGzzzz to jocelin:
Thanks for getting fotoz to paste in the scrapbook(though i caught u red-handed at my house hahahaha)... there are many fotoz that i've nv seen b4... those taken when i was still a little baby to now, adult lena...
i LOVE the scrapbook!!! ur page in the book is the hardest to read hahaha... but it is oso the hardest to write...
aniwae it's okie, though u didn't haf the time to paste some flower, i can imagine the imaginary flower in the scrapbook hahaha...
Thanks for going back to tms to get the teachers to wish mi, it came as a BIG n GREAT surprise. I was reallie happy to c Mrs Lim, Mdm Sharifah, Liu lao shi, Mr Eng(hahahha his hairstyle is still the same), Tan Teck Yong... n i'm so glad to c Mrs Lim, she's more plump now, look healthier too...
n oso sorry for 'scolding' u on fri, i was wondering y u had to meet janice for so long n still haven reach my place after being late for an hour plus... didn't noe tt u were in fact rushing to finish the scrapbook...
n sorry for 'torturing' u aft ktv todae, felt sooooooo apologetic after tt...
THANKS for the 200% effort in everything u did, i had a big, touching, memorable b'dae!!!
*MUACKZ*

HuGzzz to rong:
Thanks for editing and compiling the video!!! very very touched that u spent the whole night doing it(plus a few more nights?)... n though u had to edit the video, u came to the supermart to help mi wif the steamboat preparation...*touched touched* therefore, u didn't get to slp... i noe u muz be tired, but could still look so energetic at kbox the nx day...
i love the angel u drew in the scrapbook, n ur handwriting is reallie nice!!! hehehehehe... (usually i only c ur smaller cursive handwriting ma) n ya, of course i enjoyed my 21st bdae, u don haf to sharpen ur parang... haha...n i'm glad to c u all enjoying urselves at kbox too...
btw I'm not sure hu planned the video, only noe tt zhijia provided the idea, but thanks for being the producer n part time director (the other part time director is jocelin right? from wad i noe....)
oh ya, n thanks for helping mi wash the King Koil, golden mushroomssss, the vegetables n for cutting the meat... and reminding mi wad to buy and ensuring mi tt there's enough food... hehehe
Thanks for brainstorming for ideas on wad to gif mi n always being there for mi...
LOVE you!!! MUACKzzzzzz

HuGzzz to waiyue:
Thanks for the beautiful fotoz tt u printed out on the scrapbook cover page... ur page in the scrapbook is beautifully decorated wif many fotoz... hahaha... come to think of it, we took a LOT of fotoz since sec sch... ya, so glad tt we got had so many beautiful memories together plus the memories of my ponytail slapping ur face, my damaged green collar T(i noe it's the washing machine's fault, but juz like to sae tt it's urs hahaha)... yup, i ll con't to find the dream guy, u too hor... i wish u luck, though u said tt u don't want to get married, but hu knows? mayb u ll b the earliest among us to marry wahahaha...
n Thanks for the BIGGEST and EARLIEST surprise of the day - the flour n egg... didn't expect u n jac to b at my house void deck, waiting to attack mi... i was surprised to receive ur call early in the morning and wondering y did u want to meet mi so early at mac... n i totally didn't expect to c u 2 downstairs...
Thanks for going to kbox! it's the 1st time ever tt u went wif us n even sang n danced wif us...
considering it's YOU.. haha...
thanks for all the effort in the scrapbook and video... oh ya, n i like the watch a lot! u n diana chose de right?
n i'm sorry for being angry wif u on fri, didn't noe tt u were late becoz u went to buy the cake... u told mi tt u went to deliver things ma... hee

HuGzzz to kailin:
Thanks for the bdae card in the scrapbook.. the drawings in the card is cute too!
n thanks for the present u n lishi shared to gif mi... she delivered to my house personally on fri..(she's juz staying downstairs hahaha)
Thanks for coming for the steamboat n kbox... hope tt u enjoyed urself!!!
PS: i understand tt u can't come early on fri coz of ur piano lesson, but still don understand y didn't u rather change ur tuition date on sat morning... hmmm but aniwae i juz wanna complain... not angry or wad k.. =)
aniwae good luck for ur upcoming tests n lab reports...
hope tt u ll haf fun in sch n don miss mi ya... haha

HuGzzz to kaijing:
Thanks for companying mi at the supermart on fri... didn't reallie know wad to buy, luckily u n rong were there to advise mi... n thanks for helping mi cut the sausage(so tt it ll fit into our small mouths... tink we sld cut into 3 pieces nx time wahhahaa), n thanks for helping mi wash the dishes... =) hope u enjoyed the dice, gambling, foto taking n tv session... n paiseh tt u sacrificed ur slp at night... btw, it's oso the 1st time u r standing on the sofa to dance at kbox! hahahah... hope tt u had fun singing n dancing!!
of course i like the S-piao...! u didn't rmb wrongly, i like tt metallic one... hahahaha...
Thanks for everything! n cya soon!!!

HuGzzz to diana:
Thanks for calling mi up on fri though u can't b here for the steamboat...
n i love ur cute cartoon characters in the scrapbook... ur page looks nice n colourful... hehe...
thx for choosing the watch, i like it a lot! n oso for appearing at certain parts of the video clip tt made tt part look less serious n funny(in a good way of course)...
hope tt u enjoyed urself at kbox, which i think u did =)
it's the craziest ktv session i've ever had... wahahaha

HuGzzz to yeeling n huixin:
Thanks for the prezzie and for celebrating my bdae... though both of u were late for the steamboat(yeeling) n ktv, but i understand the reasons...
hx: You look good in tt formal attire, the one at the NG part hahaha...
n i ll rmb ta fries tt u were holding in the video... lol
it looks like some kinda lecturer holding on to a 'pointer'(dunno wad u call tt)... v cute... wahahaha

HuGzzz to MK:
though i don tink she ll read it, haf to thank her for coming!!! hehe
Thanks for livening up the atmosphere at kbox, it was great to haf u to dance wif us!!!
and thanks fr the prezzie too =)

HuGzzz to jac:
last but not least, i shouldn't forget someone impt though i think he ll oso not b reading this(unless wy shows him)...
Thanks for the last pg of the scrapbook...
haha though i haf to get wy to help mi interpret wad u mean inside.. oh ya and... the KFC coupon plus fotoz n 21th clean(haha i finally understand wad u mean le)
Thanks for the surprise u n wy gave mi early in the morning n fetching us to mac to eat...
Thanks for ur gifts (the flowers n wine???)
oh ya, n sorry for the misunderstanding too(the msg, telling u not to come if u r still home)... didn't noe tt u, wy n joc r doin the scrapbook at mac... saw u online at bout 8, so of coz i thot u were still at home... bleah~
hehehe


HuGzzz everyone*
I reallie enjoyed myself n THANK YOU for all the great time n beautiful memories you all gave mi on my 21st bdae!!! *bow, *throwing all the flying kisses** hahaha

getting older

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LENA!

lazy

skipped school so i can laze around.

it's part of life you'll have to learn to appreciate.

i dont understand why people scurry around without looking at the pretty clouds, or the blooming flowers.

cos of money.
go ahead. slog your lives for money.

some people dont understand.

but they turn and tell me.
you ought to use this time wisely.

wisely?

i dont think so.

kings seek the secret to immortality.
they dont know that living forever aint any good if they age.

seek the path to immortal youth.
then live a life like Lestat.
you'll see how superficial life can be.

so.. what's my point?
nah.
i'm just trying to justify the lazing around part.

reflections

it doesnt really matter how i feel.
the feeling's wrong.
wrong as in a major problemo.

sometimes it's out of mere jealously.
maybe i'm just jealous that people are happier than me.
i have to go ruin it for them.

maybe it's just me.
i'm such a sicko.
FREAK!!

maybe it's cos i dont care about what people think.
status quo.
that's why the things i do are unacceptable.

maybe i'm just wrong.

it does matter how i feel,
cos i cant feel you.
if that's the case,
what was i trying to do?